in the last decade, in south africa anyways, but i assume further afield as well, there has been a tendency to slangify negative words and so words like ‘sick’ and ‘wicked’ which used to have negative connotations have now been made cool (is ‘cool’ still cool?) words for the in-crowd which is perhaps a desensitization of another kind to be looked at another time…
but recently, on two separate occasions, i heard the latest word usage (well it may not be the latest, i am a bit slower to catch up on cool these days) which completely crosses the line and both times i interjected and crushed it immediately and will continue to do so no matter how normative the usage becomes…
and it was the use of the word ‘rape’ in the context (on the one occasion) of some sports match where the one guy was asked how they did and responded by saying ‘we got raped 8-1’ or something like that
i believe there are some things that should never be joked about [and i realise that for me the list is far more extreme than most because i would take it so far as saying i don’t think marriage is something that should be joked about purely because it has largely become quite a joke and i’m not sure how far breaking it down in jest has had to do with that] and rape is certainly one of them – i personally know of at least four people who have gone through that horrible destructive evil (there really doesn’t seem to be any kind of word that comes close to describing how bad it is) act of senseless violence and so to take a word like that and normalise it or inject it into every day conversation seems to completely piss on the faces of everyone who has had to endure that
and i cannot imagine what it must do to someone who has been through that experience to hear the word ‘rape’ being used so lightly to describe a lost game of sport
i hope that you will join me in refusing to let this become a norm of conversation by taking a stand every time you hear it and helping people to really ‘get’ that what we say does matter… it is unacceptible.
Hear, hear Brett. Well said. I couldn’t believe my ears when I heard someone use the word in a colloquial context. In fact, I had to ask the guy if I had heard what I thought I had heard.
As if that wasn’t disturbing enough, the person in question could not understand my offence to its use.
In a world where many suffer the horror of rape, we cannot and must not condone the trivial use of this word!
Great post!
Thanks Brett – fully agree. It shows not only a total disregard for people who have been through the evil, but also the limited intellect of the people using the term. I choose to believe no one who has actually spent more than 2 seconds thinking about the word would actually still use it to refer to something as trivial as an exam paper or sports match.
Such an important point, Brett… and one that somehow only starts to make sense when men make sense of it… if you know what I mean. Terribly true post.
Agreed. I have personally experienced the term being used excessively in the context of school sport and interestingly enough, exams over the last two years. And it goes a lot worse than just the word ‘rape’, people will often go onto describe vividly and figuratively exactly how they were raped, or how they raped their opponents. Besides your point of not making light of such a horrifying action, it’s just an awful and inappropriate way to describe how you beat your opponents into submission after a sports game.
I must say I agree with you here. It is possible that the guy was a bit in the closet as well. But even so, the word should not be used at all in the sports context. Rapists should be executed swiftly so that the state doesn’t have to pay for this scum. Let Heaven and Hell decide who gets em, and I think it will be the latter. Prison is too good for them.
Hey Fish,
I agree with you.
our word usage is super important. thanks for the cool blogs so far.
I appreciate the brevity of them.
(they use to be pretty long)
and u probably hear this all the time (or maybe not): keep up the good work!
Thanks Brett, this is a very important stand to take
Wow, thanks so much for writing that!
I felt that way a number of years ago (I won’t count them coz I don’t want you to feel bad!!) when I first heard that phrase but unfortunately I’ve just sucked it up and moved on.
I definitely have a heart for exactly what you’re getting at and like Lisa is saying it’s make such a difference to hear it coming from a man and with such passion!
I am one of the people who has said rape in a joking manner like, ‘ damn, I am gonna rape that cake’ as I say it, it means nothing but then a while after, it doesn’t really paint a pretty picture.
I never once considered I might be saying it around people who have experienced rape. I gotta say I feel pretty kak now.
Obliterate, decimate and lay waste are far better descriptions.
Thanks Brett – I’m feeling quite convicted now… Now to live out the repentance part…
hey b
ja thanks for this – if nothing else, it’s encouraging to see you care. it makes me so angry and sad how insensitive and uncaring people’s attitudes are towards rape.
so, thanks for caring!
lots of love
d
[…] well actually, to be honest, it began a little earlier with this blog i wrote after my encounter with two horrible t-shirts and then the recent one i wrote about young people using the word “rape” to describe a bad sporting or examination encounter… […]
[…] friend, Brett of the FISH variety, posted a similar entry on his blog a while back (http://brettfish.wordpress.com). Maybe he said it all then but sometimes my own rants help me to deal with the (sometimes extreme) […]
[…] friend, Brett of the FISH variety, posted a similar entry on his blog a while back (http://brettfish.wordpress.com). Maybe he said it all then but sometimes my own rants help me to deal with the (sometimes extreme) […]