Meet No_bob, the world’s most famous stuffed dolphin! 

He is yellow and white [well, dirty yellow and white, he gets around] despite people constantly imagining him to have been blue. And as much as people try to give him human characteristics, one of his standout characteristics is that he is not real – he is literally just a stuffed toy.

He has been my loyal and faithful companion since i won freed him from the vestages of stuffed animal toy slavery on the Brighton Pier in 2000.

Initially i was going to call him ‘Bob’ but then i realised that being made of material he probably wouldn’t and so the name No_bob came to be.

To spell his name right you will need a Capital N, underscore and small b – poor guy gets his name spelled wrong all the time.

The underscore is obviously there to add class.

He has travelled around the world and met a slew of celebrities including former archbishop Desmond Tutu, the bands Jars of Clay and Tree63, Michael Mol, Dale Steyn and Nicky Gumbel.

He has had a popular song written about him [‘The No_bob song’ by Serving Suggestion], lost an eye, been attacked by a wild dog, been stretched almost to breaking point by excited summer campers and been kidnapped dolphin-napped on more than one occasion. Once for over a year!

Yet he continues to inspire many by his not-realness and ability to lie in the same place and not move for days on end.

Have you had an encounter with No_bob? If so, when did you first meet him?