Boyfriend was hot like me? Let’s be honest, you probably don’t. Witty and able to improvise at the drop of a hot and good with word games and kick ass at Boggle and Bananagrams and passionate about life and loving people and melting chocolate and a whole bunch of other things for sure. But hot? Not this guy. However, what ends to that phrase could we come up with if we lost the boyfriend part? Well that felt like something to explore and so we sent out a call to the Hashtaggers…
[The Story So Far: Every Wednesday at 12 noon South African time [6am EDT] an inspired and growing number of brilliant, creative and absolutely fun people from all around the world take part in what is called a Hashtag game. @AFrikkinHashtag [say it out loud] is South Africa’s #1 Hashtag game and is always a lot of fun. The F.L.O.P. [or Fish List Of Prizeworthyness] is the collection of some of the best tweets from each week’s game and is what all seriously comedic Hashtaggers aspire to…]
Started this game out in the traditional way sending out and invite and some examples that naturally went the traditional route of being anti-raiSIN and pineapple-on-pizza to get things started:
#DontYouWishYour cookies were raiSIN-free like mine?
with @AFrikkinHashtag and The UnNamed Ones on the @HashtagRoundup – let's play a game! pic.twitter.com/7y5w3eilBW— Brett FISH Anderson (@BrettFishA) January 10, 2018
#DontYouWishYour wife was a crazy fun-filled original and all-round sport like mine? With @val_c_anderson pic.twitter.com/19k1R008DX
— A Frikkin Hashtag (@AFrikkinHashtag) January 10, 2018
And of course, the one you were all waiting for… #DontYouWishYour pizza was pineapple-free like mine? pic.twitter.com/u5jwHsFWgw
— A Frikkin Hashtag (@AFrikkinHashtag) January 10, 2018
Always great to have our original first bot popping in to question our logic:
What's the deal with #DontYouWishYour? Do you tread me? Am I a promo? Am I an actual texas? Just what am I?
— Seinfeld Bot (@TheSeinfeldBot) January 10, 2018
And then, of course, there is you – beautiful you – and all your crazy wonderful funny and sometimes way too clever tweets and these are the ones we picked for this week’s:
FISH LIST OF PRIZEWORTHYNESS [aka The F.L.O.P.]
Apple for the Teacher points go to Quizical for knowing how to stroke the ego #AllTrueThough:
#DontYouWishYour hashtag game could always be as good as this one?
— Lets Get Quizical (@Quizical123) January 10, 2018
Veldlot had her own form of misdirection going:
#DontYouWishYour clothes wouldn't shrink so much in the dryer ? pic.twitter.com/3Yo8nuufQP
— VeldLot🌷 (@VeldLot) January 10, 2018
While Bazz took us to a most serious place:
#DontYouWishYour
Life away.
Take a moment to just enjoy being here.
Yes there is pain and hurt but also plenty of nice things.
Live in the now.— Jalbeardzi, The Typo Pirate Yaarrrr (@Danzig303) January 10, 2018
While John went to a darker and more questionable place:
#DontYouWishYour nipples went all the way up and down your chest, over your shoulders and down your back so they looked like braces?
— John Lane (@JohnFPLane) January 10, 2018
While Rob was full on bringing the bling:
Friend, #DontYouWishYour grill was hot like mine? pic.twitter.com/IwQejkelQ9
— Rob (@GenericZA) January 10, 2018
While Richard seemed a little confused:
#DontYouWishYour Vacuum didn’t suck?
I mean no matter how expensive they are, they always do…— Richard H (@FeeBooths) January 10, 2018
While bonesnorkel made us reach for our dictionaries:
#DontYouWishYour couture was haute like me
— Vegans for Negan (@bonesnorkel) January 10, 2018
Craig was living in the past:
#DontYouWishYour Tamagotchi was still alive like me.
— craig onetweetwonder (@craigflynn1) January 10, 2018
Dan definitely knows me, and SugarGretel, and most decent human beings:
#DontYouWishYour Bathtub was filled with chocolate?
— I'm Just Dan (@DanielAshley13) January 10, 2018
While Marty was playing Cod:
#DontYouWishYour Goldfish came with a tiny Defibrillator? pic.twitter.com/Qa85MhgtxN
— Marty McCullough (@realmartinmcc) January 10, 2018
Vältivat was putting his name in the Employee of the Week hat:
#DontYouWishYour boss recognized the pride you take in your work? pic.twitter.com/tGUW7EHoUn
— Vältivat Hämming (@Jawmo2) January 10, 2018
Ayisi seemed full of regrets:
#DontYouWishYour resolutions for the new year never got tired of adhering to you after the first month or so?
— 🌞 (@ayisi_yaw) January 10, 2018
While Ntokozo was looking for some consistency:
#DontYouWishYour love life was as perfect in real life like it is on social media???? pic.twitter.com/xrOPeq3ZKf
— NTOKOZO (@Ntokozo_Kai_One) January 10, 2018
While Social Trends said what we were all thinking:
#DontYouWishYour phone battery lasted as a Nokia 3310 battery pic.twitter.com/ZfISGB0Zy2
— Socialtrends🇿🇦™ (@STZAblog) January 10, 2018
Stoppa took us to an exotic place:
#DontYouWishYour grades were as good as that Brazilian weave you wore in December?
— MODERNISED THUG (@blacstoppa) January 10, 2018
John was dealing with extended family issues:
#DontYouWishYour nana would stop shaving off her eyebrows and then drawing them back on again?
— John Lane (@JohnFPLane) January 10, 2018
While for Corry it was the neighbours:
#DontYouWishYour neighbours would stop asking about graduation pic.twitter.com/sAVmrDhEad
— Corry🎯 (@Corry_ZA) January 10, 2018
Patch was having time issues:
#DontYouWishYour
Flux capacitor was not broken— DM (@patchdennizen) January 10, 2018
Mabry was feeling pro choice:
#DontYouWishYour genie was I Dream Of Jeannie and not Kazaam pic.twitter.com/c7sRP9KtOS
— Morgendorffer 0819 (@MabryMundy) January 10, 2018
Adu1tg33k was trying to pass the buck, or the cat, or something:
#DontYouWishYour cat did the exercise and you reaped the benefits pic.twitter.com/dFX7dAELSJ
— Adu1tG33k (@adu1tg33k1) January 10, 2018
While John has us all reaching for our medical dictionaries and then smiling knowingly:
#DontYouWishYour aphasia would stop banana window crochet?
— John Lane (@JohnFPLane) January 10, 2018
While Grendelstein was in a bit of a predicament:
#DontYouWishYour arms were a bit longer pic.twitter.com/1LKz8UwMQi
— Gretel Armstrong (@GretelSugar) January 10, 2018
Dave seems to care deeply about his level of not caring at all:
#DontYouWishYour apathy paid the bills?
— DavetheDave (@singingdustman) January 10, 2018
Veldlot knows me well and returned me to the good place in my mind #ChocolateOnBreadForTheWin:
#DontYouWishYour bread would have sprinkles like this ? pic.twitter.com/cSixp4RU89
— VeldLot🌷 (@VeldLot) January 10, 2018
While Death March was chasing the music:
#DontYouWishYour favorite band would actually play in your town?
— DeathMarch (@KillerTofuThorn) January 10, 2018
Fletch was testing his ‘Rolling Moss’ theories:
#DontYouWishYour tnetennba was as nice as mine? pic.twitter.com/dlHenoEclZ
— 🍁Pass the Fletchy on the Left Hand Side 🍀 (@Darth_Pingu) January 10, 2018
While Otta was taking issue with the ear worm we released…
#DontYouWishYour fearless hashtag leaders wouldn't put a song in your head this early in the morning… #notcool @KeshaTedder pic.twitter.com/Vmych0E4NJ
— #SCIENCEMATTERS🔬🚀🌕⚡ (@ottawatts) January 10, 2018
Davine was focusing on clothes therapy:
#DontYouWishYour socks would get along? pic.twitter.com/SKLbGCQvu6
— Davine Ker 🇨🇦🇺🇸 (@DavineDC) January 10, 2018
So once you got beyond the fact that we got THAT SONG stuck in your head you came up with some pretty fun and amazing tweets. Well done and thank you to everyone who played, BUT there were also a number of tweets that caught our attention that little bit more and these Top Tweets are featured in this week’s:
F.L.O.P. NINE
[9] 0ffTh3Cuff pretty much says it all here:
#dontyouwishyour social awkwardness didn't… erm.. get.. er… some.. stuff .. things… bye
— On Tweeting Curfew (@0ffTh3Cuff) January 10, 2018
[8] Eric posed a question too many of us have pondered too late:
#DontYouWishYour heart listened to your brain
— Eric (@LVGambler123) January 10, 2018
[7] While Electric Lady seemed to have the solution for him:
#DontYouWishYour heart was mended this easy? pic.twitter.com/P4D5Drj9Mj
— UniverseRevolver1914 (@ElectricLady47) January 10, 2018
[6] Bazz was bringing us back to the good perspective:
#DontYouWishYour
Wishes were as big now as they were when you were a child
I wish I was a spaceman as opposed to I wish I had money left before I got paid— Jalbeardzi, The Typo Pirate Yaarrrr (@Danzig303) January 10, 2018
[5] Alexander speaks my language #HateThisSOMuch:
#DontYouWishYour phone stopped correcting words that don't need correcting?
— alexander the ok (@This_Bag) January 10, 2018
[4] Jeepy brought the Canadian LOLs…
#dontyouwishyour city wasn't overrun with Canadian gangs? pic.twitter.com/4HqNOUXxEV
— Jeepy (@ScareQuotePro) January 10, 2018
[3] Rebel Girl brought a powerful message that we totally back:
#DontYouWishYour safety everywhere was a given?#MeToo
— Rebel Girl (@thatrebelgirl8) January 10, 2018
[2] Your Biological Father conveyed the same thought:
#DontYouWishYour Daughter was Safe Like Son!! #MeToo pic.twitter.com/83EpvY0yQn
— YourBiologicalFather (@biolgiclFather1) January 10, 2018
[1] Vältivat wins this one hams drown, i mean hands down:
#DontYouWishYour autocorrect was a little less vagina?
— Vältivat Hämming (@Jawmo2) January 10, 2018
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