Do you like to poem?
We know that some of our Hashtagger friends [and nemeses, yes looking at you K Dawg] don’t like poetry tags so we thought we’d help them out a little by removing that elusive rhyme… and you had a whole lot of fun with it.
The Story So Far: Every Wednesday at 12 noon South African time [6 am EDT] an inspired and growing number of brilliant, creative and absolutely fun people from all around the world take part in what is called a Hashtag game. @AFrikkinHashtag [say it out loud] is South Africa’s #1 Hashtag game and is always a lot of fun. The F.L.O.P. [or Fish List Of Prizeworthyness] is the collection of some of the best tweets from each week’s game and is what all seriously comedic Hashtaggers aspire to…]
When it comes to Hashtaggers i don’t think you can do much better than John Lane who is one of my absolute favourites week by week and so it is always a pleasure to have him co-hosting with me.
John ticks all the five pillars we strive for on AFH with tweets that are FUN, CLEVER, MISDIRECTIONAL, RANDOM [but related] and PUNNY. He keeps them FAMILY friendly [at least when i’m watching] and just constantly inspire me to want to be a better player.
As per usual we sent out an invite:
And sent out some early examples, you know, just to keep things moving:
When it comes to raiSINs
You may have seen a trend
i'll hate them for eternity
And this will never… finish.#ThisPoemDontRhyme pic.twitter.com/Jx8Wguem4N— A Frikkin Hashtag (@AFrikkinHashtag) August 16, 2017
The question has been circling, about dear 007
If Daniel plays him one more time, we'll be in seventh paradise.#ThisPoemDontRhyme pic.twitter.com/7gq1SnvAUc— A Frikkin Hashtag (@AFrikkinHashtag) August 16, 2017
I do believe Grandma Police
Will really hate this game
The way I’ve worded this hashtag
Should drive them all in-crazy#ThisPoemDontRhyme pic.twitter.com/J5yLVtV9zA— A Frikkin Hashtag (@AFrikkinHashtag) August 16, 2017
John of course was in top form and it was hard to choose a winner out of his classic tweets:
Hey everybody!
This is the 2nd time I’ve hosted!
I only hope Twitter
Don’t reckon I should be cruelly made invisible.#ThisPoemDontRhyme— John Lane (@JohnFPLane) August 16, 2017
Lawks-a-mercy
I’m hungry for venison,
Just like that real poet,
Alfred Laurel Wilks.#ThisPoemDontRhyme— John Lane (@JohnFPLane) August 16, 2017
Rose are red,
Violets are blue,
Lemons are yellow
Oranges are orange.#ThisPoemDontRhyme— John Lane (@JohnFPLane) August 16, 2017
I’m desperate for something sweet
Help me for goodness sake
Just cut me off a slice
Of that lovely chocolate fudge.#ThisPoemDontRhyme— John Lane (@JohnFPLane) August 16, 2017
Although “financial kablooee” might signal a win!
Hey little sister,
Can you give me some cash?
I’m totally broke
Since the financial kablooee.#ThisPoemDontRhyme— John Lane (@JohnFPLane) August 16, 2017
We high trended with ease which of course meant that some of our favourite bots came out for a peek:
#2 USA #ThisPoemDontRhyme with @afrikkinhashtag hosted by @BrettFishA @JohnFPLane #ThisPoemDontRhyme
— Hashtag Roundup (@HashtagRoundup) August 16, 2017
Everything you know about This Poem Dont Rhyme is wrong.
— Wrong Bot (@yrwrong) August 16, 2017
What's the deal with #ThisPoemDontRhyme? Do you love me? Am I a tread? Am I an actual example? Just what am I?
— Seinfeld Bot (@TheSeinfeldBot) August 16, 2017
Then, of course, there was you. Were you? Whatever. We know you’re just in this for the F.L.O.P. fame and so, as always, lots of amazing tweets, but the ones that caught out eye make it on to this week’s…
FISH LIST OF PRIZEWORTHYNESS
And Wow, there were a lot of you, cos skills… starting with the Baz who was putting it bluntly with pure misdirection points:
Roses are red
Elephants are grey
If we hadn't got married
I'd probably be..single— Pirate Jalbeardzi (@Danzig303) August 16, 2017
Grendel was next with a poem that said everything that was needed to say:
Roses are red
Blood is red
Bacon #ThisPoemDontRhyme— Gretel Armstrong (@SugarGretel) August 16, 2017
While Giacomo had an accompaniment:
Roses are red
Wine is red too
Poetry's tough
Wine
#ThisPoemDontRhyme— Giacomo G Casanova (@CasanovasTool) August 16, 2017
i loved Lisa’s little p.s. at the end [and also seeing her manage to scribe a tweet without using the word ‘raiSINs’ which feels like progress in her weekly therapy]
#ThisPoemDontRhyme
Twitter Twitter it's a crime…
Coz this is where we spend all our …..
Hours..
Go with hours.— lisa a (@triqu3tra) August 16, 2017
This is actually brilliant. Every week Baz prefaces his tweets with ‘I don’t have anything’ and then produces gold like this:
Roses are red
Custard is yellow
With muscles that big
she must be a female with big muscles— Pirate Jalbeardzi (@Danzig303) August 16, 2017
ℓєσ9мσиєу really delivered with this one:
I have a little dog
She loves to wag her tail
But look out if you're the one
Delivering the . . . post#ThisPoemDontRhyme pic.twitter.com/OPM2nJhur2— ℓєσ9мσиєу🦁 (@JMoney731) August 16, 2017
While Stepehn should have provided us with a spoiler alert to this gem:
The owl and the pussycat went to sea
In a beautiful pea green boat
Then a squall blew up and it sank#ThisPoemDontRhyme— Stephen Cookson (@StephenCookson6) August 16, 2017
While bony scribe produced a classic:
#ThisPoemDontRhyme
Roses are red
So is my leg
Sunburn is no joke— Boo-ny Scribe (@bonyscribe) August 16, 2017
Jessica also riding high on the misdirectionals and sneaking a family friendly tweet:
I would love to continue to play
I must admit
But I have to go and take a …
few moments to get Son ready for school #ThisPoemDontRhyme— Jessica Carberry (@Jessberrie) August 16, 2017
Jimmy was letting hiws drinking do the talking:
Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and a little drunk. #ThisPoemDontRhyme
— Jimmy (@RandomIgnorance) August 16, 2017
Lisa was back and in the mood for love [and still strangely no raiSINs, good work doc!]
#ThisPoemDontRhyme
I love u today
As I did from the start
I'll love u forever
With all of my …
blood pumping organ pic.twitter.com/YNAAAp3WSq— lisa a (@triqu3tra) August 16, 2017
While Jimmy was definitely feeling the vibe:
Your eyes are like sapphires,
Like two deep blue pools;
Like the grass in Kentucky,
And other blue things in general #ThisPoemDontRhyme— Frankenrhythm (@jimmyrhythm) August 16, 2017
Geoffrey was in the mood for a good taunt:
#ThisPoemDontRhyme
Rhyme, rhyme, go away,
Come back on another Hashtag Game.— Geoffrey Gould (@realbadger) August 16, 2017
While Jeff’s poem was actually poemy [we should let him co-host – OH WAIT!!!]
When I look in your eyes
I suddenly realize
I didn't give you enough change— Jeff Dwoskin (@bigmacher) August 16, 2017
David was checking out the legal perimeters:
If #ThisPoemDontRhyme
What are you going to do about it?
Artistic Licence only gets a guy so far— David Hutchison (@dhdt) August 16, 2017
While this is literally what she said:
#ThisPoemDontRhyme
it's not what you find
it's not what you look for
it's not what helps you get there
It's the memories you make doing it— Stacy doesn't care.. (@WhatSheSaid_91) August 16, 2017
Ben was taking a more pragmatic approach:
I suck
At poems
So there's that
#ThisPoemDontRhyme— Bensworld (@Benie_ben) August 16, 2017
While Bunni refused to take part in it… or did she?
A poem that doesn't rhyme..? Feels like committing a misdemeanor #ThisPoemDontRhyme
— Bunniboila (@bunniboila) August 16, 2017
Some great misdirection [for old people like me to get] from Kevin:
#ThisPoemDontRhyme
I can't speak much Spanish
I can't speak much Dutch
My favourite 70's program
Was Cagney & Lacey— Kevin Johns (@Berlinseshdmtv) August 16, 2017
While View created this masterpiece that someone rally should get Morgan Freeman to read:
There once was a man from Nantucket
spotted left shark in the bay
was a talent scout
hired oddball shark
dancing?not good #ThisPoemDontRhyme— View from my Office (@viewfrommyoffic) August 16, 2017
Regular Guy was not having it:
#ThisPoemDontRhyme
I ordered lunch
There was a fluke
The food was rotten
I think I'll … complain— Regular Guy630 (@RegularGuy630) August 16, 2017
Hashtag Island brought some knowledge:
There was a young man from Kent, who swallowed a set of encyclopaedias, his mother said Ken, you'll spoil your appetite! #ThisPoemDontRhyme
— Hashtag Island (@HashtagIsland) August 16, 2017
Joel was keeping his in the family:
#ThisPoemDontRhyme hey diddle diddle, the cat and the cushion, the cow jumped over my Grandpa
— Joel Newnham (@newjoel) August 16, 2017
While Paul took us to a darker place:
Baa baa black sheep, have you any wool?
Sheep: I'M NAKED UNDER THIS.#ThisPoemDontRhyme— Paul Schofield (@schofey27) August 16, 2017
Catwoman dazzled us:
#ThisPoemDontRhyme
Into your arms I fell
Your lips cold and dry
Why is the sky purple
It's time for a high five— Catwoman 😻 (@Lisaley) August 16, 2017
While Lures made theirs a pet project:
Rhinos are big
Ants are small
And my dog keeps licking his balloon animal that I made for him.#ThisPoemDontRhyme pic.twitter.com/meh5ge8I2j— Longwood lures – 1BK (@longwood_lures) August 16, 2017
Lisa was killing this game and still somehow avoiding all talk of raiSINs… #MiraclesDoHappen:
#ThisPoemDontRhyme
Twas in the cafe they first met..
Romeo & Shontel— lisa a (@triqu3tra) August 16, 2017
Autumn’s poem felt deeply existential:
#ThisPoemDontRhyme
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Hashtags are waffles
But where is the syrup?— AutumnSkye13 (@AutumnSkye13) August 16, 2017
So many of you brought family-friendly versions of the Nantucket man [good for you] and here is just one of them:
There was a young man from Nantucket He was charming & had a nice pail… #ThisPoemDontRhyme
— Bunniboila (@bunniboila) August 16, 2017
Amithab went deep and submersive:
Rosaries are beads
Violet's a colour
And conforming
is a definitive requirement #ThisPoemDontRhyme— Amithab Kasiparsad (@AmithabK) August 16, 2017
While Ronin was aware of the practical implications:
A rose by any other name
Would still make me sneeze#ThisPoemDontRhyme— Ronin Mara (@RoninMara) August 16, 2017
While Undead was thinking out loud:
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Tulips come in many colors
Actually so do roses… ignore that first line. #ThisPoemDontRhyme— Undead Dont Thinkso (@DontThinkso555) August 16, 2017
Uncertainistic pretty much described my party life:
I came
I saw
I made it awkward— Uncertainistic (@hm3clayton) August 16, 2017
While Regular Guy topped the Misdirectionals with this great one:
#ThisPoemDontRhyme
'Twas the night before Christmas
And all through the house
Not a creature was stirring
Since I prefer shaken pic.twitter.com/8rmQ622hr3— Regular Guy630 (@RegularGuy630) August 16, 2017
Inquisition kept it honest:
#ThisPoemDontRhyme
There once was a girl on Twitter
Something something something
Blah
Blah
Tweets— ♯Inquisition (@Inquisition) August 16, 2017
While Chris has a big butt and I cannot lie:
Roses are red
Violets are blue
When I'm in the bathroom
I love a big seat#ThisPoemDontRhyme— Chris Johnson (@VidarTattoo) August 16, 2017
757 brought the pumpkins:
Despite all my rage
I am merely a rodent in a Pet Carrier #ThisPoemDontRhyme— 757_A-hole (@treedoesstandup) August 16, 2017
While AnonyyMrs brought some truth:
The feelings of the shower head
In words I say
"Every naked person, turns me on"#ThisPoemDontRhyme— AnonyMrs (@anonyymrs) August 16, 2017
Bill was saved by the kid:
There once was a man from Nantucket
And never mind my kid just walked in the room… #ThisPoemDontRhyme— Bill Myers (@BillCapHill) August 16, 2017
While Katie’s tweet was number 1:
He burst open the door
And smiled at her sweetly
She looked back and said
'Get out! I'm trying to have a piss!' #thispoemdontrhyme— Katie Miller (@Katie_M_Stories) August 16, 2017
Dayna brought the real poetry out:
Good night harvest moon
a bowl of mush
kittens with gloves
old lady whispering be quiet
#ThisPoemDontRhyme— Dayna Point (@dayna_point) August 16, 2017
With Mar; lon not far behind:
#ThisPoemDontRhyme My view is blurred lilac It loses thine glimmer Blue clears out in its core A mirage lost in a drowning moment
— mar; lon (@RinkulinkLP) August 16, 2017
So many super good tweets – i am literally reading most of those thinking “These could be on the F.L.O.P. ELEVEN list they are so good!” and so it was a really tough decision or two this week… but we did have some that felt even better than good to us and so here is this week’s…
F.L.O.P. ELEVEN:
[11] Stan’s final line misdirection had us at hello:
Roses are red
So are the violets
The kitchen table
And part of the floor.
Accident with a tin of paint #thispoemdontrhyme— Stan Innate (@Bust_dunny) August 16, 2017
[10] Paul continued a much-used theme and mixed in some geography to make is safe for this game:
There once was a man from Nantucket
But he moved as soon as he could to somewhere nicer#ThisPoemDontRhyme— Paul Schofield (@schofey27) August 16, 2017
[9] While David we think had a subversive message about the appearance of the English language:
There once was a man from a slough
He had an unruly cough
He ate an orange
He got from a grange
It did get better though #ThisPoemDontRhyme— David S. Pumpkins (@bonesnorkel) August 16, 2017
[8] More historical misdirection from Amithab:
One, Two.. Six, Seven, Eight
You don't need rhymes to feel like Alexander, the.. Graham Bell #ThisPoemDontRhyme— Amithab Kasiparsad (@AmithabK) August 16, 2017
[7] J.J. not only gets misdirection but also working-spork-into-a-poetic-work-of-art points:
I eat my peas with honey
I've done so all my life
It makes the peas taste funny
But it keeps them on my spork— J.J.Fux 1660-1741 (@missus_gumby) August 16, 2017
[6] While Mark was just speaking plainly:
#ThisPoemDontRhyme Roses are red, Violets are blue, Daffodils are yellow, Plants come in a vast array of different colours.
— 🏇MARK (@westy2112) August 16, 2017
[5] Helen was bringing the muse from down under:
This crazy love I have for you
Grows stronger when apart
But Sweet, know to you I will return
Forever in my cellar #ThisPoemDontRhyme— HelenTrickOrTreat🎃 (@ItsHelenT) August 16, 2017
[4] Geoffrey dazzled us by asking a question about Haiku in Haiku #PoeticMindBlown:
#ThisPoemDontRhyme
What, do you mean like
Free Verse, or maybe #Haiku?
Wouldn't those both work?— Geoffrey Gould (@realbadger) August 16, 2017
[3] Punk & Spice brought SO MANY LEVELS to this beauty:
#ThisPoemDontRhyme
Nor does it use proper grammar
One of my favorite artists
that you can't touch is MC……Escher pic.twitter.com/TRKVs0QLyB
— Punk & Spice🎃 (@S2ndBlondeChild) August 16, 2017
[2] Mark’s was both a poem and a public service announcement:
Watch out where
the huskies go.
Don't you eat
the yellow frozen water crystals.
#thispoemdontrhyme pic.twitter.com/JTV5QWBAez— ✌Mark Bonnet🤘 (@Mytquinn69) August 16, 2017
[1] While Ian is this week’s F.L.O.P. tweeter with this matter-of-fact offering:
A poet said to me
'Nothing rhymes with orange.'
This was my reply
'No it doesn't.' #ThisPoemDontRhyme— Ian Richardson (@IanRich10562022) August 16, 2017
Super great stuff everybody that played and one of the most fun F.L.O.P. lists in a long long time – just some brilliance and class – love it – and look forward to seeing you at our next game which takes place every Wed at 12 noon South Africa time and 6am EDT and can be found on the @HashtagRoundup app which if you haven’t downloaded yet, you really should.
Thank you John Lane for being an amazing co-host and as always The UnNamed Ones for not running off with all of the in-house snacks during the game…
See you soon, let’s keep the WIT in the Twitterer
love brett fish and The UnNamed Ones
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