i made my beautiful wife val a cup of coffee in bed this morning as i do most mornings… she thanked me for it and i said it was a pleasure, and completely meant it… in fact as i was walking down the stairs i was thinking that it is a pleasure every single time… and how that should be normal – i really dig making my wife coffee or tea or a glass of ice cold water – but i would imagine it is not…

i imagine in some marriages the coffee and tea making still happens but with a hint of a sense of obligation and in other cases probably doesn’t happen at all (“get your own damn tea!”) and as simple and random and arbitrary as a cup of tea or coffee is in the big scheme of things, i would imagine that can be a telling sign.

cos i really believe it starts in the ‘small’ things – the simple tasks done in service of each other, the quick looks, glances, the opening of car doors and carrying of stuff, the offering of the bigger piece of dessert…

you want to love your wife better? make her a drink. and enjoy it. and enjoy her. every day every day.