How much different might the world look if animals were human? We decided to find out…
[The Story So Far: Every Wednesday at 12 noon South African time [6am EDT] an inspired and growing number of brilliant, creative and absolutely fun people from all around the world take part in what is called a Hashtag game. @AFrikkinHashtag [say it out loud] is South Africa’s #1 Hashtag game and is always a lot of fun. The F.L.O.P. [or Fish List Of Prizeworthyness] is the collection of some of the best tweets from each week’s game and is what all seriously comedic Hashtaggers aspire to…]
This was the first game as co-host for Syed Abdul Razak [@tweetfeelsgood] and it has been amazing having him with us since then as an UnNamed One…
As per usual we sent out an invitation and dropped some example tweets:
Join @BrettFishA and @tweetfeelsgood as they explore some of the different possibilities that might emerge – both good and bad – #IfAnimalsWereHuman on the @HashtagRoundup app pic.twitter.com/oFY3ntUZQz
— A Frikkin Hashtag (@AFrikkinHashtag) May 9, 2018
#IfAnimalsWereHuman I don’t think I could BEAR it! pic.twitter.com/15CoFsc2V6
— Brett FISH Anderson (@BrettFishA) May 9, 2018
Do you think #IfAnimalsWereHuman they would end up being jerks like us? Or do you think they would help us become better at being people? pic.twitter.com/7OWXORDwnt
— A Frikkin Hashtag (@AFrikkinHashtag) May 9, 2018
And Syed hit the ground running and showed why he cracked the invitational nod:
#IfAnimalsWereHuman
They'll be just as fabulous! pic.twitter.com/nNeD1xg18a— Syed Abdul Razak (@tweetfeelsgood) May 9, 2018
#IfAnimalsWereHuman
They'll take us out for walks… pic.twitter.com/8q3tqhqYj7— Syed Abdul Razak (@tweetfeelsgood) May 9, 2018
We troubled the trending lists for a good long while:
#2 USA #IfAnimalsWereHuman with @afrikkinhashtag hosted by @BrettFishA @tweetfeelsgood
Play along on @HashtagRoundup
— Hashtag Roundup (@HashtagRoundup) May 9, 2018
And had the good fortune of a Matthew Modine exchange with our very own Bazzmeister:
How would they carry weapons? #NoOpposingDigits https://t.co/r9IfXcb2Td
— Matthew Modine (@MatthewModine) May 9, 2018
It was also great to have the Hills Veterinary Clinic joining in with their own flavour:
#IfAnimalsWereHuman, everyone would enjoy unlimited back massages! #HillsTransformingLives pic.twitter.com/A5PqHAZ2OX
— HillsVet.com (@HillsVet) May 9, 2018
But we know, as always, the real reason you stopped by, and that is to check out this week’s Fish List of Prizeworthyness, which we like to call the:
F.L.O.P. List
It is always cool for us when a game connects with someone like this one did with Mithuni, cos that’s what it is all about, right?
These #IfAnimalsWereHuman tweets are the best thing I saw on the internet today. 😂
— Mithuni Senadeera (@Mithuni62) May 9, 2018
V decided to be sporting about it:
#IfAnimalsWereHuman the world cup would be more interesting this summer @FIFAWorldCup pic.twitter.com/gVBWAIMsxg
— VeldLot🌷 (@VeldLot) May 9, 2018
While John was feeling a little more optimistic:
#IfAnimalsWereHuman, maybe they’d pick up their own poop!
— John Lane (@JohnFPLane) May 9, 2018
Daniel felt ironic:
Zebras would listen to The White Stripes.#IfAnimalsWereHuman pic.twitter.com/FROpUQ4qXo
— Daniel Hopkins (@IamDHop) May 9, 2018
Bax was hitting the hits:
Who let the John out would be a huge summer hit
— Jalbeardzi, The Typo Pirate Yaarrrr (@Danzig303) May 9, 2018
While Rob was thinking of the business opportunities:
#IfAnimalsWereHuman Penguins would be in demand as waiters at high end restaurants. pic.twitter.com/0AJUfVL08v
— Rob (@GenericZA) May 9, 2018
Daniel’s pun game was on point:
Hedgehogs and porcupines would be the type of people to needle you.#IfAnimalsWereHuman pic.twitter.com/7GomAPJffd
— Daniel Hopkins (@IamDHop) May 9, 2018
While John’s were a little bee grade:
#IfAnimalsWereHuman, would bees get hives?
— John Lane (@JohnFPLane) May 9, 2018
Jess’ puns were all they were quacked up to be:
Murders would be solved by ducktectives #IfAnimalsWereHuman
— jess💕 (@jdarlenem) May 9, 2018
And Tiffany took it to a whole new level:
Pigs would really fly
because they'd be actual pilots
flying for Pan Ham Airlines#IfAnimalsWereHuman— 👾 丅Ꭵᖴᖴ⨺ᑎƳ Ǥᖇ⨺ᕼ⨺ᗰ ᑕᖇ⨺ᑕᛕᗴᖇᔕ & ᗰᎥᒪᛕ 👾 (@TiffYG2133) May 9, 2018
While DM wanted to keep it in the family:
#IfAnimalsWereHuman
then I would like to meet my great ant— DM (@patchdennizen) May 9, 2018
Oval with a bit of a concerning volunteer:
#IfAnimalsWereHuman
I would take over on sniffing crotches— myovaloffice (@myovaloffic) May 9, 2018
Bannon was calling the revolution:
#IfAnimalsWereHuman They probably wouldn’t put up with any more of this shit pic.twitter.com/gmNfEZiIWe
— Mister Race Bannon (@MrRaceBannon) May 9, 2018
Holly was wondering if it would work the other way?
#IfAnimalsWereHuman would we see animals in people suits? pic.twitter.com/RK4EYHrXp1
— Yes, that, "Gov." Holly (@imthatholly) May 9, 2018
Just Funny was not convinced this would be good:
They'd blackmail us. They've seen too much 😳 pic.twitter.com/JJ5ab6IwLr
— JustFunnyStuff (@JustFunnyStuff2) May 9, 2018
While PsychoGeek disagreed:
#IfAnimalsWereHuman that would be toadally awesome! pic.twitter.com/3VacW3Hnhh
— PurePsychoGeEk[TeEm] (@bexterdext) May 9, 2018
Penny brought some sobering perspective:
#IfAnimalsWereHuman they would tell us horror stories beyond our imagination that would allow us to see the cruelty we inflict every day. #GoVegan #FriendsNotFood
— Penny Wise Ⓥ (@Salem_King94) May 9, 2018
Angel is convinced:
#IfAnimalsWereHuman snakes would b Hitmen pic.twitter.com/jzQAB4FZqM
— Angeleyezzz (@Dullex) May 9, 2018
While HJ had more puns in store:
#IfAnimalsWereHuman
Would go shopping to Ani-Malls. pic.twitter.com/McL8eTuMb7— The Horse's Joke (@TheHorsesJoke) May 9, 2018
Drive-by saw it as a step backwards:
#IfAnimalsWereHuman It would be a demotion in rank.
— Drive-by Tweeter (@virgo2757) May 9, 2018
While Ant-wan dropped the gauntlet:
#IfAnimalsWereHuman we would actually make good of the resources that you humans waste.
— Ant-wan Ferguson (@Thelifeofanant) May 9, 2018
HP suggested a transition period of sorts:
#IfAnimalsWereHuman they'd spend at least a day being overjoyed at the notion of opposable thumbs (provided they didn't already have them).
— HP (@IsidoresDragon) May 9, 2018
Chuck was sure the snacks would follow:
#IfAnimalsWereHuman People Crackers would be a thing
— Chuck N. Rilley (@ElPenguinito) May 9, 2018
Fortune thought the changes would not be so dramatic:
#IfAnimalsWereHuman we would be attached by a leash and pick up their crap – oh – we already do that
— Fortune Factor (@chalkyard) May 9, 2018
Joe brought all the puns:
if they were lawyers they would badger the witnesses, the birds would take over twitter with their tweets, if they were politicians they would be lion all the time #IfAnimalsWereHuman
— Joe Ewing (@RiverwalkJoe) May 9, 2018
Susan was all about making the most of the change:
#IfAnimalsWereHuman I would invite an octopus to be my roommate. If I asked nicely maybe he could help to check me for ticks after I've come in from visiting the woods. He might also open all of the jars in my place that are stuck shut.
— Susan Brackney (@SusanBrackney) May 9, 2018
Seems we have some wild and crazy ideas about what might happen if animals were human and so thank you for all of the tweets. But every good F.L.O.P. has those tweets which take it a little bit further and this game was definitely no exception with the TOP F.L.O.P.S. bursting at the seams… so let’s move on to our:
F.L.O.P. TEN
[10] Shedlon and Welsh Rarebit spoke some common sense:
#IfAnimalsWereHuman maybe hunting would finally become extinct
— Shedlon Wortlebucket (@EzBloke) May 9, 2018
#IfAnimalsWereHuman they'd only kill for necessity not sport 🙈
— 💋🏴 Welsh Rarebit 🏴💋 (@InnitPumpkin) May 9, 2018
[9] While Baz took it a step further:
They would go on safari to shoot fat American people
— Jalbeardzi, The Typo Pirate Yaarrrr (@Danzig303) May 9, 2018
[8] Lynn decided to take it THERE:
#IfAnimalsWereHuman. Would our livers be the new bacon?
— 🌊🌊LynnStopKavanaugh🌊🌊 (@elynnhardi1) May 9, 2018
[7] Bannon stated an uncomfortable truth:
#IfAnimalsWereHuman it would be really awkward picking up their poop pic.twitter.com/UjFZmYusRH
— Mister Race Bannon (@MrRaceBannon) May 9, 2018
[6] John considered the spiritual implications:
#IfAnimalsWereHuman, we could have an actual Dalai Llama! pic.twitter.com/39oUSiZbK1
— John Lane (@JohnFPLane) May 9, 2018
[5] DM was not going to let it move him too dramatically:
#IfAnimalsWereHuman
I would try and remain centaured— DM (@patchdennizen) May 9, 2018
[4] Rishabh knows where their focus would be:
#IfAnimalsWereHuman they would play #IfHumansWereAnimal
— Rishabh Sharma (@im_srishabh21) May 9, 2018
[3] B Cohen speaks the truth about payback time:
#IfAnimalsWereHuman Dressage horses would commit so. Many. Murders.
— (((Lodestar Runner))) (@BCohen87) May 9, 2018
[2] John proved to be King of Puns with this greatness:
#IfAnimalsWereHuman, feline dentists would recommend you fl-ocelot.
— John Lane (@JohnFPLane) May 9, 2018
[1] But Janet topped this week’s F.L.O.P. list with this stunning piece that you will see when you see it:
#IfAnimalsWereHuman
Humans would have a LOT of explaining to do!#StopAnimalCruelty pic.twitter.com/2goYOSn5eV— 🖤JANET🖤 (@scorpiojanet) May 9, 2018
Thanks everybody for a great game and for keeping it FAMILY style as we like to do – huge Shoutout to Syed and the rest of The UnNamed Ones for all of the work they tirelessly do… have yourselves a good one and let’s keep the WIT in the Twitterer until the next one.
love brett “Fish” anderson, hosttagger
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