me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, Israel… that is how psalm 25 reads to me – starts off really good and positive and kind of like the sunday picture of a christian – look at me God, everything is together, You are good, i can sing all the words in all the worship songs and even believe that i believe them and You’re great and thanks for all You’ve done and You’re control and You’ve done some great stuff in the past and everything you do is amazing and i’m done at church and i’m driving home and i reach verse 16 and my mask comes off and i have a fight with my wife and i can’t believe the weekend is finished and i have to go to work on monday and look at all these problems i have God and HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

or something like that:

‘Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted. Relieve the troubles of my heart and free me from my anguish. Look on my affliction and my distress and take away all my sins. See how numerous are my enemies and how fiercely they hate me! Guard my life and rescue me; do not let me be put to shame, for I take refuge in you.’ [vs. 16-20]

and then he slips into his ‘pre-useless-sinner’ mode of hoping his ‘integrity and uprightness’ will rescue him and then quickly finishes off with a quick p.s. of ‘oh and please be nice to Israel, amen’

i really dig this psalm though cos as you read it, it is as if the layers are being peeled away and you get closer and closer to the real man and the heart of the issue and everything is not so rosy and happy and together… and YET he STILL continues to pray and cry out to God, because he knows…

and also maybe cos i can strongly relate many days here in the ‘hood… [and more days than not it’s not the ‘hood stuff that is causing the problem] – feeling lonely and afflicted but yet continuing to trust in God, because i know!