This is not a topic i have a lot of personal experience of. Or any. The beautiful Val [tbV] and my philosophy about children is that we enjoy other peoples and the opportunity to give them back to them at the end of the day. We enjoy kids but we don’t particularly want our own. But we also understand that for a lot of people [perhaps the majority of people who are married?] having children is one of the biggest things in their life, especially for many who have wanted kids their whole life, even some of them from when they were kids.
We have both babysat kids though and we have witnessed kid tantrums [with kids of strangers and also with kids of parents we know] and i was a primary school teacher and did a year’s worth of practical teaching at least and we have both been involved with kids on camps and in holiday clubs and in many other shapes and forms. We get that sometimes [hopefully mostly?] they’re amazing. They’re like little people. Oh wait that’s exactly what they are. But little people who require a lot of love and grace and energy and patience and forgiveness and a whole lot of other stuff.
And so we get that it’s not always easy. And for some of you there may be whole periods where it seems like it is never easy. There are books that have been written but there is no real users manual. Each child is different, each family circumstance is different and so there is no one-size-fits-all in any aspect of raising children. I imagine for some parents out there, parenting [or trying ones best to parent] can be a really lonely, frustrating or at times paralysing thing. People tend to brag about how amazing and well-behaved and excellent their kids are as opposed to taking joy in sharing how difficult or frustrating or hurtful their kids can be. So i thought this might be a great topic to get some stories on here. I imagine there is some help for parents of small kids in the form of books or groups or workshops, but not everyone will necessarily have access to those.
So i wanted to chat to some of the parents of young children [talking under the age of about 8 here] that i know and see if i can get anyone to share on when being a parent of a young child, or young children was not so easy and if there was a way that they managed to get through it [if they have yet] to be able to share that and hopefully give some help or encouragement to those of you out there who may be struggling. Maybe just the notion that it’s okay to struggle. You are not alone:
First up i have this most excellent letter to Parents of Small Kids by Steve Wiens
Meet Candi Fourie [includes Postnatal Depression]
Meet Christie Mae Roberts [includes Postnatal Depression]
Meet Geraldine Walsh [includes Postnatal Depression]
Meet Hilary Mushambi – “Everyone else seems to have their stuff together”
Meet Nicolette Ferreira [juggling work at home with looking after baby]
Meet Terran and Julie [and their FIVE!] and a really HONEST, raw and rough cry out from a parent
To wives before you were ‘Mommy’ – an important reminder to both new moms and dads, by Becky Thompson
True enough! Parenting, although very fun and satisfying, is really, REALLY hard! I have a 6-month-old baby boy and a 12-year-old son as well. After my youngest son was born, I became extremely depressed; not enjoying life, wishing we hadn’t had another baby, wanting to go back to work, thinking I was a horrible mother for not loving every minute of it. Although the depression is now under control and most likely related to hormones, it doesn’t change the fact that parenting is a round-the-clock job. At work, eventually your shift ends and you go home, but parenting continues well into the night and on weekends and sometimes you don’t see the results of all of the work you do. I often joke that I’m home and busy all day, but at the end of the day the house is sometimes still a mess and the biggest accomplishment that I’ve had has been preventing diaper rash. I love my boys to pieces, but parenting is a tough and highly unappreciated job.
thankx for sharing Laurie and hear the sounds of us cheering you on – i have SO much respect for anyone who takes on the joy [i’m sure] and challenge [no doubt] of parenting – it is such a huge thing that is often completely undervalued but you are affecting the life of another human being [or two and shaping them towards being the adult they are going to be – so much respect! keep on!
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