Well, as a first time blogger I’m not really sure where to start and what to write. I cannot say that I am really good with words, but this I know….I do not want to keep quiet about this and if writing gives me an opportunity to be heard then I’m grabbing hold of this with everything I’ve got.
I’ve always known that I will adopt children one day…not sure why – I guess it is just something God deposited in me when He formed me. It also just made sense to me as God is very clear in His Word that we (everybody that believes in Him) should take care of the orphans and the widows. So I guess for me taking care of them meant adopting and not just silently praying that hopefully God You will send somebody to do it! I thought that I would get married, have a child of my own and then adopt as many as we possibly can! I turned 40 this year and have up to date not met my husband….so last year (being 39 then) it was just suddenly in April while visiting and exploring the Transkei that I felt God telling me to “go for it”. I went back to Stellenbosch knowing that I had to start the process of adopting… Now, I’ve had no “baby training”, I had no idea of what I’m in for, but I was so excited because I knew I was walking in what God wanted me to do.
Actually I need to backtrack a bit for you to grasp the whole picture of how amazing this is! I had the privilege to visit Israel in 2012. While walking through Hiskia’s tunnel in the City of David I knew this was a significant moment…. God is going to at some stage ask me to walk in faith where I just need to listen to Him and trust that the person walking from the other side will also listen to Him so that we can connect (just like to 2 teams digging in the tunnel had to listen to one another so that they could connect).
Okay, so I’ll keep this short. When I went for my first interview, mostly an info session at the adoption agency I was driving back and I just knew, I knew that this was a given…and I knew that this will not be a long process (people told me you wait up to a year for a child to be matched with you), I also knew that my son had already been born. Again….just stuff God deposited into my Spirit. This excited me so much, I could not wait to get the process going and I prayed for my son (whom I called Willempie at that stage) so much, our whole church prayed for him….we did not know who he was, where he was, but we knew he was my son and that was amazing! I’m not sure how you feel when you are pregnant, but what I felt during these months I cannot in words describe to anybody!
I went through the process with the adoption agency and they were fantastic, at times it was nerve wrecking as they have to say you are okay or not okay to be a mother…. For me, the most mind blowing thing was that God okayed me….He was thinking “Mariska you are okay to be a mother to one of my precious children”. I knew Willempie was taken care of, I got the picture of God selecting him specifically from all the babies and giving him to one of His biggest most handsome angels and told the angel to just walk where He instructs him to walk…..he will connect with me, His mother at the time God already knew! This gave me so much peace! I knew I also just had to keep listening to God, and then I will connect with Willempie!
Middle October my screening was finished and a few hours after that I got the phone call I thought I would have to wait for….. “Mariska we are sure we have your son, he is ready for placement on the 3 Oct”. Now again….to try and explain what went through my heart and mind is impossible… I could go in, in a weeks time to look at his profile and get a picture of him. I asked God to if possible let Willempie’s birthday be significant. When I asked when he was born the date was a day apart from my brothers date where God called him home….I knew then and I will never doubt that he is my son, the one God choose before time even to be my son! I will never doubt that!
So, the next 2 weeks after that was chaos as I was only home for 3 days to prepare for him coming home! I still wanted to go for some baby training, but no time for that, haha!
The day we went to fetch him was amazing! All I cared about is to be able to hold him for the first time, and secretly I thought “please don’t cry, I’m not sure what to do yet”. He was amazing, and it was love at first sight, and I know that we had a bond already as I’ve prayed for him so much!
It’s now been almost 8 months later and I will on a weekly basis keep writing more about things we’ve experienced and went through during this time. It’s been an amazing journey so far, my saving grace continuous to be that I know I am doing what God called me to do and that He is with us. Being a single mom has its challenges, but I’m loving and embracing each one of them. I love my son whose name is now Walter – His name is Willem Walter de Beer. Walter meaning “commander of the army” and Willem meaning “protector”, both very strong family names from both sides of my family.
My heart goes out to all the other babies out there who do not have families taking them in as their own, and in my mind I cannot understand how it can be that in the whole of SA there are not enough families and people willing to stand up and just “go for it”! How can it be that the church are not seeing that the need is enormous and that we need to step up and do what God is telling us in His Word to do? Why is it that we are still looking at color as an excuse, how is it that we got to this stage where we are still allowing satan to influence us by playing the color card? I’ve had many comments mostly from people that do not know me….as a white single mom adopting a black baby….I seriously do not get it and it makes me so angry, at times angry at the church as it seems to me they are conveniently overlooking this part in God’s Word where He instructs us to take care of the orphans and widows. I’m not saying we should all adopt, I’m just saying we should all pray and ask God how He wants us and as a church to be involved in the care of these children of His.
I do not see Walter as my black son, He is my son and if people see color and raise their eyebrows I have to just stand still for a moment….then make the choice to not be rude and use the opportunity as a teaching moment. But it is so sad for me! I cannot imagine how sad and angry God must be! I wish I could take more kids in. I cannot come to terms with the thoughts of babies and children out there not having anybody to love them and to provide in their basic needs.
That all for now, I would love to hear from you. I know we need to do something to wake the church and people loving God up to see the need and to help us to do something about it!
[…] click here to read the story of Mariska de Beer [single mom has adopted] […]
Shew, Mariska, what a beautiful story you have about stepping out in faith to do God’s will, and give your precious boy a loving home. He is so blessed to have a mom like you who treasures him so. Orphans have a special place in my heart. All the best with your baby – do share a pic of him, you must be so proud! Thank you for sharing and thanks to you, B, for sharing these awesome stories.
Thankx Dre. Mariska specifically asked not to share a picture of her son for safety reasons but she is completely proud. Thankx for the encouragement!
Oh of course, makes sense 🙂 What a happy story with a happy happy ending! Adoption stories like this always fill me with such joy!