How to Lose a Friend in Ten Ways – part Planning Ahead

LISTEN FIRST

A slightly more subtle one, which i have found myself guilty of, is composing an answer or response while the person is speaking [to give once they are finished] instead of giving them your full attention.

While this is not [to me] as bad as responding before someone has finished, this also shows a less than complete interest in what the person you are talking to is saying to you. It also suggests that you know what they are going to say rather than giving them the opportunity to surprise you or misdirect or story twist or anything like that.

It’s lazy. And it’s less than fully loving. And if you want to be a better friend and this is something you do, then you should stop.

I have found it really is about focus and being intentional. i find i tend to slip into this more when i am tired and so often it’s just a case of knowing when to dive into a deep conversation or when it might be better to postpone it til another time when you can be more focused.

So not a game changer i don’t think. Just something that if you do it you need to work on. But how about you? Have you ever found yourself doing this? Have you suspected someone else of doing it to you? How strongly do you feel about this?

[For the one about that friend that always speaks only about themselves, click here]