The art of having an opinion… via Survey : Brett Fish

Some of you may have seen that i put up a survey the other day on Facebook…

[If not, there is probably still a little bit of time as it was only up for a day and i don’t know how to extend that – https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/7RXRBJC]

i was chatting to my good buddy Dreadlock Mike on the Whatsapp [it bothers me so much that Whatsapp has an ‘H’ in it for some reason] the other day and he said i reminded him of Jerry Springer. While i was trying to figure out if there was any good thing in that, he added, “You are provocative and you try to give counselling to people who don’t want it in a public forum.”

That is definitely giving my mate Rob a run for his money with his description of me, many years ago, as Paul from the Bible, which sounds like a pretty inspiring thing [i mean he wrote about half of it] until he added, “Passionate, yet tactless”. That is still my favourite description to date, although i have worked a lot on my tact [at times!]

Anyways, it was a simple survey with one question and more of a poll i guess in terms of the ten answer options i gave. The question was simply this:

Who on this list do you think Brett Fish Anderson most compares to when relating to people on Social Media? [Can be more than one]

And i gave a range of people to choose from including Chris Pratt [usually more fun than serious but a good guy to have around], Daniel Day Lewis [usually more serious than fun but a good guy to have around], Voldemort [complete evil, absolute plonker, should not be trusted] and Mister Bean [funny and well intentioned but tends to make a mess of things a lot of the time]

To date, after 17 responses the order reads Jerry Springer, Mother Teresa and Mister Bean…

Strangely not a single person has called me Voldemort yet, but that could be simply because i hadn’t shared it on my blog yet… but that’s a good sign at least…

BUT THEN THERE WAS THE OTHER

i also added an Other section because even with ten different options which i hoped would cover ‘The Good, The Bad and The Ugly’ [and people were allowed to vote for more than one] there is always a chance that someone had a different opinion.

This was in fact the most voted for section and in the order that they sit on the site, here is what people suggested:

# Liam Neeson – talented, usually fun guy until you cross him. Always on a mission. Gives ample warning when he’s coming after you.

# Jesus

# The national cricket commission (seriously, please stop with the cricket!) or create a separate page?

# Brett Fish – a guy who realises his privilege, and challenges public opinion frankly. Loves his home and wants to learn his role in changing our community for good. (Also, he likes to stir the pot 😉 )

# Denzel Washington – principled, sums up the situation before acting, good sense of humour but knows when to be serious

# Donald Trump – lots of hot air

That is quite a list and it brought me some good smiles [even the Donald Trump hot air one, because i can think of 13 people off the top of my head that could have been].

One of you REALLY thinks i comment too much on the cricket [great comeback by Elgar and Bavuma today though, yes?], so much so that i should start an entirely new account just for that. [i’m not going to – there is an unfollow button or if you REALLY don’t like my cricket commentary, a block button]

Liam Neeson was definitely a favourite, especially the little p.s at the end: Gives ample warning when he’s coming after you…

i’m not sure that’s true. i think a lot of the time it is. i feel like i’m generally quite patient on Social Media but obviously stuff builds and so you might be the unfortunate person who writes comment 100 and i’ve been so slow breathing on the first 99 and so it may seem like i just explode at every turn.

Or you might be someone who writes about rape as a joke or in any other manner apart from the horrific, sick, messed up thing that it is and i can honestly say there is not a lot of hope that there will be ample warning in that scenario [right or wrong, when you describe a bad test as “having raped you” i find that so completely offensive to the many, many people that have gone through the horrific, sick, messed up thing that rape is and so i probably won’t tread lightly then…

FROM JESUS TO DONALD TRUMP

The point is, i think, that the answers shouldn’t all be the same. If everyone thought i reminded them of Jesus or Mother Teresa or Denzel Washington online, then i don’t think i would be happy about that. It might feel good, but i wouldn’t be satisfied, i don’t think.

As well as if everyone thought i was Donald Trump, Voldemort or Mr Bean, that would probably make me very sad as well.

i think i like Mike’s opinion: i might have added the word ‘provocative’ when i put it into the survey, but ‘says/writes things that cause a reaction’ is something i wouldn’t mind having on my gravestone one day. If i had a gravestone. Which i don’t think i should. Just scatter me somewhere where there’s a breeze.

i definitely prefer ‘that cause a reaction’ over ‘for the purpose of causing a reaction’ although i definitely imagine there are a lot of people who often think i’m just trying to get a reaction, which really is seldom the case.

But i do want people to be thinking about the things they believe, that they hold to, that they post on social media and that they live out in real life.

And there happen to be a lot of those things: Race vibes in South Africa [and the rest of the world to be honest], the death penalty [whether killing someone to show them that killing people is wrong is something one can back], the amount of money sports stars are paid [this always gets people going and yet we somehow think it’s okay for one person to have two yachts while another has no bread and while i have no discernible practical steps of how i would go about changing that, just saying ‘i don’t think that’s actually cool’ for me feels like a good start], Education, #FeesMustFall [and especially how we can view the burning of a painting as violent but not the circumstances of oppression and discomfort and unfathomable daily living conditions that would move a person to burn a painting as well], Faith [in God and how that has to play out in how we live our lives in terms of money, where we live, who we hang out with, what work we do etc etc], Is it okay for me to watch this, listen to this, play this, say this, think this?

And so on… many, many things. Some more important than others. But all important to me in different ways and feeling significant to differing extents.

i don’t want everyone to come to all of the same conclusions that i have about all of these things [well, i mean, i think the way i think about certain things is right obviously cos that’s how i think about the things although a lot of the things i think about are constantly under review and in need of tweaking, improving, rethinking and sometimes changing completely] but i do want people to think about them. Critically!

Which many people tend not to do.

HOW TO HAVE AN OPINION WELL

Which brings me back to the opening question. How does one have an opinion well?

If i listened to everyone who agreed with me all the time, that would be problematic. i don’t know how i would learn. If you surround yourselves with voices who are always “Yessing” everything you say, suggest and think, that really should concern you. i’m pretty sure i’m safe from that.

If i listened to everyone who disagreed with me all the time, that would be even more problematic. Because every single idea in the world has someone who thinks it’s a bad one. There are people who think Hitler was great, that it’s a good thing to put pineapple on pizzas, that Manchester United is the best team in the world, no Liverpool, no Arsenal, no Chelsea, No Manchester City, no Bristol [i panicked!]. There is probably even someone right now who [gasp!] thinks Guardians of the Galaxy was not a great movie… but the point is, disagreement alone cannot be cause for taking it on. It must be listened to and evaluated and then acted upon. Critically.

So there has to be a measure of voices i listen to, because even my most tried and tested and trustworthy critical friends will get it wrong from time to time, as will i. So i can’t even judge my passion or conviction about a certain thing as being helpful in determining the truth or not of it.

How do you possibly continue then? Well, you have a crew of people who care about you deeply enough to let you know when you got it wrong. You invite that crew to have licence to point it out to you [in love, and hopefully with great care and respect cos i certainly don’t like hearing i’m wrong and not sure anyone does and so that moment of challenge/push-back never feels super easy or fun]. You continue to listen any time anyone disagrees with you about anything, but you give greater weight to those you trust who you have built deeper relationship with.

And you make peace with the fact that you will continue to get it wrong from time to time and hope that you won’t be a giant big unchallengeable douchebag when that time comes around next.

You also learn to say sorry when you get it wrong [as i had to recently on one aspect of the parenting quote debate we had recently when my friend Terence pointed out a blind spot to me] and try to stay kind and patient and engaged, gentle and generous when you believe you are right…

And give people ample warning when you’re about to come after them…