Hollywood (and the greater media) pretty much says (intimates) that love is a feeling and that the expression of that feeling is sex, and also pretty much once the feeling goes love has gone and you should walk away (and get a divorce). Which is why we have such a huge divorce rate where one out of three (or is it two now) marriages end in divorce.

But there is another, better way…

A way that says ‘Love is patient’

Love is kind…

It does not envy…

It does not boast…

It is not proud…

It is not rude…

It is not self-seeking…

It is not easily-angered…

It keeps no record of wrongs [read that one again!]

Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth.

It always protects…

It always hopes…

It always perseveres [read that one again!]

Love never fails! [it makes mistakes, but it doesn’t fail]

A lot of you will no doubt recognise this passage from the Bible in the letter Paul writes to the Corinthians [1 Cor 13.4-8] but i have yet to see a better understanding and explanation of what love is or should be about.

But for those of you who are familiar with the passage you probably recognised it and went ‘ah, i know that’ and skimmed down to see what i would say about it. Don’t do that. Go back – in fact all of you, if you are serious about loving your woman (man, parents, kids, friends) better then work through these points one by one and ask ‘is this true for me?’ and if not then what am i going to do to change it?

One way that might help is by substituting your name for every time it refers to love and seeing how much you laugh or cringe at the statement…

So brett is patient… [laugh? cringe?]

brett doesn’t keep a record of wrongs… [laugh? cringe?]

brett always protects, trusts, hopes… [laugh? cringe?]

brett never fails…?

Love involves choice, it involves being intentional, it involves sacrifice. True love involves lifting up the other person above yourself (needs, wants, desires) and taking care of them/theirs first.

Love your woman better! It’s so much bigger than a feeling. It’s so much greater than just sex. It’s never worth walking away from just cos either of those run out.

[For the next part of ‘How to Love your woman better’ – Small Intentional Sacrifices – click here.]

[To return to the start of the series, click here]