unseen Brett Andy IX to vote for…

//unseen Brett Andy IX to vote for…

unseen Brett Andy IX to vote for…

So today i was on a semi long-distance trip and penned a couple of new brett andy’s – usually i try them out on facebook/twitter first before i see what people really like, but these have never been viewed before and so i would really appreciate it if you would take a minute to mention if any of them make you smile or laugh or silently chortle…

“As I finished sewing up the incision, there was a moment of panic as I thought I’d left the scalpel inside Mr Jenkins. Then a wave of relief swept over me as I remembered that I’m not a surgeon, I’m the janitor.” [Brett Andy]

“I dressed up as a skeleton for Halloween, but then ended up staying at home cos I had no body to go with me.” [Brett Andy]

“As the news came to me that I’d been given the death penalty, I thought to myself, “These new soccer rules are becoming a little extreme.” [Brett Andy]

“ “I’m Thor!” He shouted again. But no-one seemed to be paying much attention. Curse that wretched lisp!” [Brett Andy]

“I’ve always wondered if it is white with black stripes, or black with white stripes. Which was pretty strange because I was looking at a giraffe at the time.” [Brett Andy]

“ “Out, Out, damned spot!” cried Lady Macbeth. But still the mutt refused to budge.” [Brett Andy]

“ “2B or not 2B?” pondered Hamlet, as he contemplated his opening move in Battleships.” [Brett Andy]

“After watching the cricket for five days, I thought, “I’ve got to get me a more interesting bug.” [Brett Andy]

“My wife asked me to turn the kettle on, so I looked at it and said, “Hey baby. How you doin?” [Brett Andy]

“That’s the last time I play Blackjack with Mike Tyson.”

By |2011-08-08T23:52:28+00:00Aug 8th, 2011|Uncategorized|9 Comments

About the Author:

Brett Fish is a lover of life, God, tbV [the beautiful Valerie] and owns the world's most famous stuffed dolphin, No_bob (who doesn't bob). He believes that we are all responsible for making the world a significantly better place for everyone.


  1. Kevin Aug 9, 2011 at 12:00 am - Reply

    death penalty, thor, and stripes 🙂

  2. eurobrat Aug 9, 2011 at 4:00 am - Reply

    I like the Shakespeare ones, the cricket and kettle one as well. The skeleton one made me groan a little, but that was the only one 🙂

  3. Loved them all…

    Especially the giraffe and cricket ones…

  4. brianlouw Aug 9, 2011 at 8:49 pm - Reply

    Shakespeare and Halloween ftw!

  5. Lisa Aug 10, 2011 at 4:30 am - Reply

    Death Penalty


  6. tsholo Aug 10, 2011 at 8:51 am - Reply

    i liked death penalty, thor, and 2b or not to 2b.

    i didn’t get the mike tyson one.

    • brettfish Aug 10, 2011 at 1:24 pm - Reply

      ah, the mike tyson was a bit of an obscure one… when you’re playing blackjack and you want another card you say “Hit me!”

      • tsholo Aug 10, 2011 at 1:26 pm - Reply

        ah ok. sorry, slow day. i like it.

  7. Bruce Aug 11, 2011 at 6:58 am - Reply

    Although the janitor one was longer than usual, I think that’s the cleverest one. The macbeth one has been doing the rounds in other guises. Otherwise, I dig the others. The hamlet one could also have been about drawing and pencils. The cricket one was a close second to janitor for me.

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