if you are a single person, then embrace that, completely. hope to be married if that is your dream, but be absolutely content with where you are and living in it, til the opportunity arises. don’t live where you’re not.

if you are a married person, then embrace that, completely. be content with what you have, while always striving for more. if you are not constantly working at your marriage, then you may soon discover the rut beckoning. in any relationship, the rut is a terrible thing.

ever since the beautiful val and i got married, God has put relationships [and especially marriage] strongly on my heart as something to pour into, not only for us, but others as well… so i asked a bunch of my married friends [who i think are married well] for one thing that they see as vital/helpful to having a good marriage:

Hey Brett,

Great to hear you doing that!
Barbs & I head off to El Shaddai tonight for the 2nd of 3 “laugh your way to a better marriage” evenings – not because our marriage is in crisis, more because we don’t want it to go there. Can highly recommend the series btw.

In our humble opinion:

Communication, communication, communication.
Might sound trite, but it is #1, #2 and #3 in our book.

A marriage is a living, changing thing (like a tree maybe?) as any relationship is. If you’re not feeding it, nurturing it and actively working at it with intent, it weakens, fades, withers and dies.

It is the small things – trivial acts of kindness & consideration as well as feeding each others dreams.

Expectation of 50% give + 50% take = doomed marriage.
Expectation of 80% give + 20% take = great marriage.

Always helps if you start as good friends and not just lovers.

… look forward to your thoughts.

[Dave Gale, married 21 years]

[to continue to part ii, click here]