if you are a single person, then embrace that, completely. hope to be married if that is your dream, but be absolutely content with where you are and living in it, til the opportunity arises. don’t live where you’re not.

if you are a married person, then embrace that, completely. be content with what you have, while always striving for more. if you are not constantly working at your marriage, then you may soon discover the rut beckoning. in any relationship, the rut is a terrible thing.

ever since the beautiful val and i got married, God has put relationships [and especially marriage] strongly on my heart as something to pour into, not only for us, but others as well… so i asked a bunch of my married friends [who i think are married well] for one or two things that they see as vital/helpful to having a good marriage.

Their thoughts and comments are linked to below – nuggets of gold gleaned over a variety of years and experiences:

Dave Gale [married 22 years]: featuring communication, give and take

Mal Taylor: featuring teamwork, space and differences

Ewald Witthoft [married 6 years]: featuring clearing up issues, past disagreements and using ‘we’ language

Bronwyn Duffield Witthoft [married 6 years]: featuring unique perspective and calm discussion

Lisa Pieterse: featuring praying together, listening vs interruption and contact

Richard ‘Snoek’ Leonard: featuring humility, a surrendered heart, and a 1 Corinthians 13 Love

Rob Lloyd [married for seven years]: featuring little ways

Debbie Knighton-Fitt [married for 6 years]: featuring togetherness and selflessness

Rob Murray [married for 9 years]: featuring escape hatches, holiness vs happiness, and leading

an anonymous friend [married for 31 years]: featuring respect, united fronts and budgeting

Carolyn Hugo Misdorp [married 12 years]: featuring personal relationship with God, short accounts and gratitude

Michelle and Frans van Eeden [who i got to marry – 2 years ago]: featuring comparing, patience and making mistakes

Lauren McGill [married for 7 years]: featuring vulnerability

Daniel Ornellis [married for 13 years]: featuring disappointments and sacrifice

Susan Minne [my older sister, married for 21 years]: featuring the blame game

Rachel T Moore [married for 3 years]: featuring diffusing, actively pursuing joy and prayer

Bev Le Roux Brodrick [married for 7 years]: featuring expectations, inconvenient love and survival