i don’t feel very strong right now.
i feel wronged. badly done by. hurt. betrayed. disappointed.
and yet again and again it comes back to me that the call is on me to forgive.
pride. ego. self-righteousness. my idea of “justice”. all these things rally against me, trying to convince me that i am in the right [maybe i am] and that the other should approach me [maybe they should] and seek peace and restoration. and maybe in the ideal world that is what should happen.
but i come from a far greater than ideal world. i come from a kingdom. and in this kingdom it often appears as if everything is upside down. and yet when you tilt your head, change your perspective, and open your eyes to really see how the upsidedowness really takes shape, it is quickly obvious to see how this new way is so much better. this new way is right. this kingdom brings life.
it doesn’t demand love, it earns it. it showers it indiscriminantly on whoever is in arms reach. and those beyond. it seeks out people to Love who may not be the likeliest of candidates or people who i might feel are all that deserving.
am i? am i deserving.
if ‘forgiveness is the attribute of the strong’ then i don’t feel so strong right now.
i feel tired from having walked that road before. so many times.
always the one to seek peace, to chase with repentance, to humble myself [that’s probably not true, but it’s certainly what i like to think]
forgive those who deserve it? easy. i can do that. i have. again and again.
but those who don’t? sure, but can i at least make them feel bad? can i at least see them ask for it or at the very least even seek it?
because often they don’t. often it has to be me who has to set out on that same journey again [my shoes feel worn down, and in the absence of shoes, my feet]
i think of my buddy Dunc. how is he still my friend? i honestly sometimes don’t know. oh i get why we are friends and what we share in common and how we can laugh and enjoy life to the full together. i get how we can be friends. and are.
but i have given that boy some crap. man, he has experienced some of the depths of my bad moods and hockey-related tantrums and unfairness accusations and passive aggressive looks [that if they could kill i’d have been put away for life]. and yet he has still stayed around. and loved me. and been so incredibly generous to me and Val just again and again and again.
and so thankx Dunc. maybe in you i will discover some hope for myself.
and in Jesus! cos He sticks with me. and i know i’ve let Him down again and again.
and yet He keeps welcoming me back. and He keeps being incredibly generous. and He keeps putting amazing opportunities in front of me
and more importantly, when i don’t seem to possess enough of this particular attribute of the strong
and when i arrive once more at a place where i feel wronged. badly done by. hurt. betrayed. disappointed.
He refuses to let me stay there. He refuses to let me wallow.
or wait [fruitlessly perhaps] for the other person to set out on my path.
the nudge comes. the Spirit speaks. the call is made.
you put this right. you Love. you forgive. and I will give you everything you need to be able to do it.
seventy times seven – My kingdom on earth as it is in heaven.
[to all those friends and family of mine who have never given up on me – despite quite possibly having cause – i thank you so much – it means the world to me – despite how completely wrong i can get it from time to time, i really do try.]
fantastic. forgiveness, extending mercy, becomes a habit after it has happened so many times. it becomes 2nd nature, where if it’s conscious at all, you go “oh yes, I know this road” with wry smile.
This is sort of functioning as long as you don’t have to meet the other person a lot. Are we supposed to forgive someone who is constantly lying to us? Maybe so. But I do believe we have the right to protect ourselves from further harm? Or what?? If not, Well, I cannot really see how to be honest at the same time.
yeah it becomes tricky when it is an ongoing thing and at some stage may require us to remove ourselves from the same level of relationship with the person but i do believe that the forgiveness part is non negotiable altho it is important to see what we mean by forgiveness and i think i have written a bunch of stuff on that which could maybe be searched in my blog…
yep you’re right and thank you for reminding me of it because I feel like I’ve forgotten it. I’ll try to look it up again…
Just keep in mind, talking about these issues, that the words “please forgive me” is quite often used by for ex. men beating up their wifes… and the wife can tell that he is never more caring and tender as just after he’s beaten her up. That’s why she stays, after all, she loves him ! These women feel like they can save these men, because after all, they’re just small hurt boys right. Untill it happens next time.
Never having experienced this exact situation myself I do know it is quite typical and we don’t always know who reads this ok, the point is the weak person will often give in and be weaker and the stronger person will be more abusive if the forgiveness words are used in a wrong way.
get your point about forgiving it can be a long process though and when you meet the other person again it could feel as if you have to do it all over again and that’s not easy if you’re furious
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