So those of you who follow my blog will be aware that i received an email from a friend who wanted to remain anonymous but was wrestling with some questions and issues as a white South African who is currently living overseas but looking in. i published Bob’s email over here.
i then invited some of my friends to respond and so far Alexa [white woman], Marlyn [coloured guy] and Tsholo [black woman] have shared some of their thoughts as well as a number of other people in the comment sections of each post.
And then i got this email from another white friend, Colette, which takes this whole conversation in a bit of a different direction so i thought i would include it:
[My name is Colette. I’m a young, white South African with a passion for my country. I’ve worked in various contexts and currently am self – employed in the adult education sector.]
Having read through ‘Bob’s’ story as well as the comments and the other related posts, I had mixed reactions. For the most part I’m in tears.
1. I know that this issue is never going to be an easy one and, for all that I may not fully agree with everything, I am still grateful to see someone have the courage to say what they think even when it is not necessarily ‘politically correct’. To the commenter who called him ‘an idiotic, arrogant, ignorant, bigoted, whining racist’ I have to ask how this helps the situation? I don’t agree with his point of view but insulting him doesn’t help to change it. I think part of the problem is that many people are too scared to speak out and voice what they are thinking because they are too scared of the response. I know that is why I tend to lurk – reading posts but not responding. I want to ask questions, to understand other perspectives and ask for input but how can I do that when I risk being dropped on from a dizzy height because I’m still trying to unpack my understanding of race and otherness. According to the hierarchy of needs, the issues that we are trying to address only come once the practical needs have been met. We all spend most of our time doing whatever we need to do survive and this does cloud our perceptions of the world. Trying to grapple with the challenges of a broken society is hard, let’s at least give grace to people who are asking questions and trying to understand.
2. Dealing with race and otherness is something that we all face. I will never truly know what it means to be black in South Africa. I can empathise, spend time in the townships, do a thousand other things but I know that it is never really the same. I try my best – please forgive me when I don’t ‘get it’ and let me to grow by correcting me. I’m trying to look beyond my stereotypes but I need help.
3. My heart breaks for this country because I see how much hurt and suffering is still out there. And sometimes I am paralysed by the magnitude of the problems. I don’t know where to begin so I do nothing. I want to be able to help every person I see but I know that it’s not practical. I work in the field of adult education and see so many people who are who are trying to better themselves by taking the opportunities given to them but I also see those who waste opportunities and believe that they should be given everything without working for it. It’s very difficult to help people who don’t want to be helped…
4. The issue of white privilege is something that I’m guessing I still don’t fully understand but I’m trying. And yes, I do often feel guilty for it. I know I’m a white middle class South African but please see beyond the stereotype. I would love to be able change things and, where I can, I will try. There’s a lot more I would love to say but I don’t know how to. I’m writing this as a young, white, South African who has a lot of questions but I want to listen and to understand as best I can.
Kind regards,
Colette Tennison
[To return to the beginning of the story and have access to all the posts, click here]
[…] Colette responds, not to Bob’s email specifically, but to this whole conversation […]
We need to look at this heirarchy of needs. If there are others who have needs, the need to fee seven kids, the need to move from the Eastern Cape to the Western Cape and then demand toilets… Some needs are unfair – why should others be forced to pay for them? Surely it should be out of our grace, not their demands.
No, all need basic needs no matter what. Even if tax must go up. You see? Get it?
haha no I don’t. How about the lazy get up and do 10 percent work for free? Amazing thought hey?
I hear what you’re saying Xolani. You are saying that everyone has a right to food, shelter and electricity for example. Okay agreed, but what happens if there are say 1 million people in a country and they are all uneducated, poor and many are lazy, along with 1000 who are educated, hard-working and driven. Do these 1000 have to work 10 times or 100 times harder to feed everyone? Or wouldn’t it be easier to just leave?
You see the above is not that far away from our current situation. Both whites and blacks have to be treated correctly or all whites may leave. All educated blacks may leave. Then what? Who will feed the masses?
Dear Colette, maybe it isn’t all about you, and what you want, need and feel. PS. I am the one who called Bob names. I have no desire to help him at all. He doesn’t deserve my help.
So Megan, you’ve taken quite a hard-assed approach to both Bob and Colette, yet both of them are saying, “hey i want to get this. help me get this.” Do you not have one helpful practical solution to get them from a place you clearly don’t approve of, one step closer to ‘getting it’, to finding out who it is about and how to change or move closer to being in a more helpful space?
Learn to speak isiXhosa. Make an effort to listen to black people. Give them an opportunity to speak.
I agree. Why has she not walked our footsteps? Why not come off this high horse of priveledge. To feel what we feel. Spend time in a Township, eat and drink with us. Maybe it will open your views. The pain of blacks is real.
I kind of have to agree with you, Megan. Maybe when it comes to closeted and not-so-closeted racists, the time for niceties has passed.
Colette, I think my advice would be, if you feel upset when you’re called a ‘racist’ or ‘dropped from a dizzy height’ for saying something about race online or in conversation, take a moment to think why the commenter is saying what they are saying. How can their comment help you to understand their pain? Where are they coming from? Might you actually have unwittingly said something hurtful, or bigoted? (Or did they misunderstand you?) How could you do better next time? Do you need to know more, understand more? (I totally get it wrong, all the time, and it’s okay to keep learning.)
So I would say, take a risk. Ask those questions. Your slight discomfort at doing so is nothing compared to the gains that you can make, as a person and a South African, from engaging fully in these issues. (And it’s also nothing in comparison with the pain experienced by black South Africans, as Xolani has said below.) Don’t bow out because it’s tricky and uncomfortable! And if you’re not feeling brave enough, or informed enough, to engage yet, it’s also an ethical choice to just listen.
ps. And I want to acknowledge that it’s awesome that you do say you ‘want help’ and want to ask questions and listen! I know I need to do the same, with humility…
Dear Megan, I realise it isn’t all about me, that is why I choose to ask
these questions. Unfortunately at this point all I have is my own
experiences which is why I write – I want to understand other people’s experiences and perspectives. The question I have is this: how can we understand each other if we can’t talk about it?
Andrea, the risk of being misaligned is one I’m willing to take. I chose to speak out because I’m not the only one asking these questions. And I want to see beyond face value.
Xolani, if that’s what you feel it will take, help me make it happen.
That’s great. I think we CAN talk about it. We are talking about it here, of course 🙂
But talking about it also includes calling people out (like some people did with ‘Bob’) if we think they are being racist, don’t you think? I DON’T think the ‘problem’ is that ‘non-politically-correct’ viewpoints are silenced as you claimed under point 1 in your original post. Often, I find it’s the opposite: thinly-veiled racist rants all over the place claiming to be just ‘telling it how it is’ or ‘facing the facts’, whether at braais or on facebook. Often with no counter-view.
So I agree, as you’re proposing, we DO need to have conversations (as B is allowing us to on this forum), but we need to have conversations that are free of prejudice and feelings of superiority and grounded in history and reality and people’s real life experiences, and we need to call out racism and distortions of history when we perceive them.
I agree with you there Andrea. I think we do need to call a spade a spade. What concerns me is the questions that get lost in the furore. And I suppose that is where a medium such as this has its limitations. We can’t hear what’s being said underneath the loudness of the statements we read.
This does look about her only. Why not share more? It seems very self absorbed. Why does the whites preach with a bible but don’t do anything what it says in this book? Please I ask you. Or is it out of context? That is what I always hear. Jesus said to go help poor. Go buy food and help them. If you education then teach them for free. Please do it and you will only then understand. Being intellectual is not the answer if it’s alone. Share it.
Xolani, you raise a good point but it is a little too general my friend. I know some white people doing some incredible work in terms of changing and influencing the lives of the poor. Friends who have moved into Manenberg and Dunoon, friends who are regularly going into the prisons to share hope and teach skills, many friends who are taking the words of the bible seriously and doing it, which is great. But there can always be more.
Yes. But what is this girl doing?
I don’t know. You will need to ask her.
Email address please
Hi Xolani. There are too many thoughts for me to respond to them all but I will try to answer the gist of what you are saying.
Part of the process is finding out what it means to others when I do take action. And caring for those in need is a critical part of faith. But the questions I am led to ask are as follows:
1. Yes, within my means (which is not nearly as much as you imply), I want to help those in need. But does throwing money at them not just perpetuate the status quo of our society? And what else can I do if I don’t have money to give?
2. I’m in adult education, specifically workplace based. Yes, I can educate people for free but how do I do that in a way that doesn’t come across as patronising and just another example of an unsustainable upliftment project?
Giving food to the poor means a lot to them. Trust me on this one. They basically don’t die. There are plenty of starving people out there and plenty of trusts and organizations to help.
1. You do have money to give. How much is in your savings account?
2. Its not patronizing. People want to learn otherwise they wouldn’t be there.
What does within your means mean?
10 percent of income and time is all we ask. Okay tax is high I admit. But take this 10 percent to the townships. It will help more than tax.
Say you make R20000 a month after tax. So then take R2000 and buy food, clothes and take it poor this winter each month. It will go much farther than to say buy a new shoes or jewelry or latest cell phone. It can make a huge difference to ease suffering and give hope. Some whites are miser. If you a Christian then it says to tithe to the poor. So you sent say you a Christian if you refuse. It’s to help. You see we are in pain. I am privileged black man as I study. I’m not rich, but have a scholarship. You can help others just by this 10 percent. It’s how a Christian must be. Or go give it to a church to start a night shelter. Not to build big showcases for ministers but buildings for poor, shelter, soup kitchen. It’s the way of Christianity. Agree? So look at why you not doing this 10 percent.
Love your neighbor as yourself. So why not do this? How much you gave in the bank? Don’t say you poor if you have ten thousand in the bank. You can help with r1000 then. R100 meal to a poor family is more than you eating out or holiday. A little goes far.
I’m sure it says to tithe. But to the poor or to a church to help set up a scheme to feed. Or is it out of context as some rich white Christian say? It says to help. Jesus said we must. I help poor whites at the ship there is a white guy who is a car guard. I donate to him. I am poor but have a scholarship but have some for food and entertainment. I don’t go to movies or to restaurants so give a bit maybe 12 percent to poor. You really wont miss it.
A broken people will not listen to Christians if they hypocrites. If you don’t tithe 10 percent to the poor you no Christian.
Xolani, send me your email address bro to brettfish@hotmail.com – you are rambling a bit now so rather I set you up and you write a post for me so you can get your thoughts and story out more directly. Sound good?
Okay email you next week. Do you want a photo.
Sure. We want to see who we talking to. Email this week if you can and I will let you know what I’m looking for and you can send it next week.
I think that many people who claim to be poor or say, “its impractical”, are actually fairly well off with large savings accounts and decent income. They just don’t want to touch their cash so make excuses. Xolani here is right. There are many ways to help by donating money – many NGO’s and Churches/Night Shelters that would put the money to good use with feeding, education and more.
Sure, your disposable income may be tied up in other things but that doesn’t mean it’s not possible to re-prioritize how you spend it. Don’t make lame excuses! You know you are.
Places to volunteer in Cape Town
Give back to the community
It’s no secret that South Africa still battles to find solutions to dire social and environmental problems, and more and more, the support of the general populace is crucial to overcoming these obstacles.
That said, finding the right place to volunteer in Cape Town can be an overwhelming mission. There are countless causes, non-profit organisations, community initiatives and NGOs all looking for people willing to lend a helping hand; however, to find these endeavours and to figure out how you can donate your time and you skills is another matter altogether.
Thus, to better help you give back, what follows is a list of worthy places to volunteer – complete with information about the first step you’ll need to take to start donating your time.
Wildlife and nature
Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals (SPCA)
If you love animals and would like to make a difference in the lives of rescued and homeless furry or feathered friends, then consider becoming part of the SPCA’s special group of volunteers, also known as animal angels.
There are various ways in which you can get involved, including exercising dogs, cleaning cages and grooming cats; alternatively, you can also make food and gift donations if you can’t volunteer your time.
Those interested in volunteering at the SPCA can attend a volunteer orientation session. These volunteer sessions take place once a month, and are designed to help you make an informed decision before signing up.
Corner of 1st Avenue and First Road | Grassy Park | Cape Town | +27 (0) 21 700 4140
The South African Foundation for the Conservation of Coastal Birds (SANCCOB)
SANCCOB is a non-profit seabird rehabilitation centre in Cape Town aimed at conserving and protecting South Africa’s seabirds. The centre houses a large array of coastal birds, such as the Cormorant, the Cape Gannet, Kelp Gulls and the African Penguin. Volunteers are crucial to the organisation, as the centre only has a limited amount of permanent staff members.
Volunteers are assigned duties depending upon their experience level; though, training is compulsory before commencing duties. Training dates change regularly, so prospective volunteers should call the centre beforehand to verify the dates.
Duties include: keeping the entire centre clean and hygienic, feeding and washing the birds and assisting in the Intensive Care Unit. You can also aid the foundation by donating money or adopting a penguin for R500.
22 Pentz Drive | Table View | Cape Town | +27 (0) 21 557 6155
The Emma Animal Rescue Society (TEARS)
TEARS is a non-profit organisation that aims to rescue, rehabilitate and re-home lost, abandoned or abused dogs and cats. There is no limit on how long a dog or cat can stay with the organisation, but as the number of animals at the shelter increases, so does their reliance on community support. Whether you prefer the company of a wet-nosed canine or the sophisticated purr of a resident feline, TEARS will have the purrfect spot for you.
You can volunteer your time at the kennels, the cattery and the garden, or you can get involved with the general administration and fundraising initiatives.
In the (likely) event that one of these furry friends captures your heart, you can also opt for adoption. Donations, including money, food and toys will go a long way in ensuring the longevity of TEARS.
Lekkerwater Road | Sunnydale | Cape Town | +27 (0) 21 785 4482
Refugees and immigration
Scalabrini Centre of Cape Town
If you have a passion for helping immigrants or refugee aid, giving your time at the Scalabrini Centre of Cape Town may be the perfect fit. This multi-faceted organisation assists foreign nationals from across the continent integrate into South Africa by way of their advocacy, welfare, English school and outreach services as well as their Employment Access Programme (EAP).
The EAP sector specifically needs additional help as they assist up to 50 people each day to search for jobs, create CVs, write cover letters and a learn new skills through a series of workshops. Please note that a three-month commitment is required for this programme.
A prime opportunity to both interact with people from across Africa and make a difference in the lives of refugees, volunteering at the Scalabrini Centre is also a good way to learn the ins and outs of a charitable organisation if you’re looking to eventually work in the NGO sector.
Scalabrini Centre of Cape Town | 47 Commercial Street | City Centre | Cape Town | +27 (0)21 465 6433
Childcare
Friends Of the Children’s Hospital Association (FOCHA)
The Friends Of the Children’s Hospital Association is a voluntary support group to the Red Cross War Memorial Children’s hospital. The purpose of the association is to provide amenities, assistance and care to the patients and families of the hospital.
If you love children and you would like to become a volunteer, you will have to undergo a screening and orientation session before commencing duty with the hospital. Duties include reading to and playing with the various patients of the hospital. Volunteers generally commit to one day per week, between 9am and 12pm. On Tuesdays and Thursdays these hours are extended to an afternoon session which runs from 2pm to 4pm. Some of the other services FOCHA offers include supplying families with food parcels, clothing and toiletries, as well as birthday parties for in- and outpatients throughout the year.
Klipfontein Road | Rondebosch | Cape Town | +27 (0) 21 658 5243
Help2Read
The Help2Read initiative aims to recruit, train and support literate adult volunteers from local communities in an effort to, ultimately, help disadvantaged primary school children who struggle to read.
The volunteer readers work on a one-to-one basis with children. Their reading sessions take place once a week, and usually last half an hour.
In order to become a volunteer, you have to meet certain requirements: you have to be over the age of 18, be able to speak, write and read English proficiently and you have to undergo a criminal background check.
Volunteers undergo a one-day training course for R20. This course will equip them with the skills to understand and assist a struggling learner with their reading. The volunteer is then able to encourage the love of reading, build self-esteem and improve literacy skills.
You can also volunteer at the Help2Read fundraisers, or help with daily administration tasks at the Help2Read office.
6 Alma Road | Rosebank | Cape Town| +27 (0) 21 685 8085
Environmental
Earthchild Clothing
The Earthchild Project is a non-profit organisation that works with previously disadvantaged schools across the Western Cape to teach kids to love and respect themselves and our precious planet. Volunteers are charged with helping with the various after-school activities, such as the Off the Mat initiative. Off the Mat aims to inspire conscious activism and ignite social grassroots change through the power of yoga. The Earthchild Project has constructed a classroom for children to enjoy yoga and life-skill classes through the money raised by the yoga initiative. If you wish to become a volunteer, you will first have to attend an interview and briefing with the volunteer coordinator at each of the two focus schools (in Lavender Hill and Khayelitsha). Thereafter, you can decide where you would like to be placed. The initiative also offers workshops and practical tips to facilitate an effective working relationship with the children.
117 Hatfield Street | Gardens | Cape Town | +27 (0) 21 462 2218
Greenpop
This Cape Town-born social enterprise is devoted to raising environmental awareness, planting in under-greened communities and combating climate change. As a volunteer, you can get your hands dirty by planting trees at schools, in deforested areas and in communities. Volunteers are responsible for educating children about the importance of their natural environment, and about how they can play an active role in preserving it. Volunteers must be 17 years or older and in good health. Another way in which you can support the initiative is by donating an indigenous tree for only R100 or a fruit tree for R120. Companies interested in team-building can approach the Greenpop initiative and organise their own plant days.
17 Commercial Street | Cape Town | +27 (0) 21 461 9265
Zandvlei Trust
Zandvlei Trust is a registered non-profit organisation that aims to promote the conservation of the indigenous fauna and flora of the Zandvlei wetland in Muizenberg. One of the ongoing projects in dire need of volunteers is the clearing of exotic invasive vegetation in the Zandvlei area. Volunteers are expected to remove the invasive vegetation -Port Jackson, Rooikrans and Black Wattle – every second Saturday afternoon for two hours. Anyone can become a volunteer, and no expertise is needed.
Tokai | Cape Town | +27 (0) 21 712 1434
Charities for women
Sisters Incorporated
Sisters Incorporated is a private welfare organisation that houses South African women who are the victims of domestic violence. Volunteers are in high demand and required to transport residents to the local hospitals, to collect donations, maintain the garden and help with fundraising. Volunteers visit Sisters Incorporated once a week to carry out a workshop with the residents. The aim of these workshops is to educate women on their human rights and empower them for their return to life outside of Sisters Incorporated.
The company relies mainly on donations from community members, including office supplies, clothes, toys and household cleaning products.
32 Ascot Road | Kenilworth | Cape Town | +27 (0) 21 797 4190
Rape Crisis Cape Town Trust
The Rape Crisis Centre is aimed at bridging the gap between survivors of rape and the justice system by advocating for law reform and through intensive counselling.
If you are interested in volunteering at the centre, you will need to complete a six week volunteer training programme, followed by one month’s orientation and a five-month practical training course.
Once you have completed these elements you become a member of Rape Crisis and get a certificate. Potential volunteers have to commit to a minimum of eight hours per month for the period of one year.
23 Trill Road | Observatory | Cape Town | + 27 (0) 21 447 9762
Saartjie Bartman Centre for Women & Children (SBCWC)
A one-stop centre for women and children who are survivors of abuse, SBCWC provides safe accommodation, childcare services, legal advice and research in gender-based violence. Volunteers visit children over the weekends, pick up food and other donations, or work in the gardens. If you are a trained counsellor you can assist with intake assessments of the women who walk into the centre for help. Specific training and supervision is provided by Saartjie Baartman staff.
Klipfontein Road | Cape Town | +27 (0) 21 633 5287
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There is something for everyone. You can donate in many different ways. Do it and you wont regret it. :_)
What about newcoming whites in South Africa? I know a family of six persons. ( Parents and 4 children aged 14 years- 3,5 years). They suddenly moved into South Africa just in time for newyear. The adults work at mission coordination office, and the family lives in a fenced house. But they rather would live in a hut in another African country…. And their work concerns other parts of Africa….. I have been thinking about mentioning them to you a long time I take the oppurtunity now.
What do you mean by a fenced house? Do you mean they want to go to another African country? What do you want people to help them with? Air-tickets?
Intially they wanted to stay three years in Central African Repuplic. But right now that country is in a mess… So they stayed about 9 months mostly in Cameroon, studying the Sango language which is a trade language in CAR and helping with many kind of proyects, when a relevant job in SouthAfrica became vacant they decided to take it. Right now they want to find more friends. That is difficult when living in a neighbourhood built on the idea of privacy and safety. That is what I mean by a “fenced house”. Their blog tells me that the 14-year old big brother enjoys football, and that the father is happy to bring him to a township where he can recieve training. The 10-year old girl is finding school in English extremely difficult. But on the other hand it is good for them to have a proper school, not just any Swedish volunter as private teacher. I don´t expect blogreaders to help them directly, except maybe if you already happen to know them. Just realise that they are not what they look like. In their jobs they are already getting as many air-tickets as they would wish for. The man recently came back from a two-weeks trip to CAR and Cameroon.
They live in Mbombela/Nelspruit.
Are you saying you as an educated white woman cannot think of ways to help, so you just do nothing? I really cannot believe this.
1. Are you a Christian? There are obligations if you do follow this faith. The point is this: whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows bountifully will also reap bountifully. Each one must give as he has decided in his heart, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.
2. I keep hearing about people who say, “I don’t have enough money to go out”. Later it turns out they have a million in savings but won’t touch that money. I hear about people who say they cannot help as they have priorities. Yes, eating out, movies and clothing can be a priority. You see, one can always make a plan.
You’ll find that the most generous people are the wealthiest people. By giving 10 percent, you’ll see these people with even more cash. I don’t know how it works, but I have seen this very often. Those who hoard cash and become misers cause sickness unto themselves and they eventually become poor and the ones in need.
I am not sure where should I give bob and lady C some tongue lashing or symphathise with them that they spoke up and they realised they need to understand this whole race issue…last week when Bob’s letter was revealed I typed out a very long piece and I though why should I voice out what I am thinking…now today at work I hear the word ”kaffir” it made me think there are majority of people stuck in the old times really, even though the word was not directly for me but it impact me indirectly as a black south African, I cannot explain the hurt I am feeling right now to think so many of us make means to understand the history and make peace with it. how are you going to move forward when we have that bunch that still think a black person deserves to be treated different from other races, alas to my surprise 3 more white people heard that statement and never corrected it instead it is only me who thinks its totally wrong(mind you I am the only black lady in the office)..people how do we move on? and this incident is just one of those we experience at this place…if I could go into detail then Brett might have to give me the platform in order for Bob and Colette to see what black people still endure at this age and time, what happened long time ago is still happening in the dark …this thing of rainbow nation is just a fairytale that still has to happen though we are very far from it.
i am so sorry about that Martha. Sounds like free punches-to-the-face need to be administered in your office – ARGH – but drop me a mail at brettfish@hotmail.com and let’s see if we can’t have a space for you to share some story…
yes true that, but I would hate to paint everybody with the same brush, I nearly went ballistic but then I thought if I want peace then I should not solve problems with war…I will definitely spare time to write to you….thank you
And thank you for taking time to stop here… your words are valuable and your story crucial…
I am not white. I am not black. I was 2nd class under apartheid and now I suffer with BEE/AA.
If you take holidays, travel then you can donate. Please don’t patronize the poor. You must be well off. How much cash in the bank hey?
What are your thoughts on gap housing? Housing for poor on a field next to your house? Are you for or against it? If against it then you have racial issues.
Why am I stopped by police if I’m in your area of newlands at night? Explain?