i received two sets of comments after the last post in this series and felt that both were worth sharing.
The first was from Sabrina and was really helpful in reminding me that racism can be localised. One strong example we came against when we were in the States is that the term ‘coloured’ there when referring to a person of colour, is very strongly racist, whereas in South Africa, for the most part, it refers to a particular group of people, who as far as i have been able to ascertain, do not take it offensively [although some prefer to refer to themselves as brown] but definitely doesn’t carry the strength it does in the USA. So Sabrina reminded me that the ‘girl’/’boy’ post was referring specifically to the South African context:
Sabrina: I totally hear what you are saying and totally agree that people should respect each other and use respectful terms to do so. But I think that you must also acknowledge that in this particular blog because you used specific terms you are speaking from an ethnocentric perspective and so what you say is culturally constrained and not a universal truth. So for example I live in Ireland and many women of all ages refer to each other as ‘girls’. I’m in my 50s and call myself a girl and refer to my friends as the girls. In fact I smart a little if someone refers to me as that ‘woman’ over there. For most women in our culture the term ‘girl’ would be considered endearing rather than insulting. For males in Ireland the word ‘boy’ would really only be used for prepubescent boys, then they become teenagers, young men or men but just like women use the word ‘girl’ men would tend to use words like ‘guys’ or ‘lads’. So my point is what is insulting in one country or culture might not be insulting in another country or culture. So I totally agree with your point that people should address each other respectfully in a way that is acceptable within that particular society. However to dictate particular words makes it only applicable to the the example society that you discuss here rather than universal to all societies. It is a little difficult to explain so I hope that you ‘get’ what I mean.
My good friend Nkosi [who is probably being way more gracious than he needs to be] weighed in with these very powerful words that really made me stop and think. Boom – punch to the face right there.
Nkosi: My difficulty with this series Brett is that I feel it is more based on individual experience which I always try to avoid. Individual experience leads to reactionary actions which are limited actions. The fact that in this status in particular we are talking about “boy and a girl” and we already know they are black shows the biggest problem of racism. The fact that a domestic worker is black and “must not be refered to be a boy or a girl” shows a problem. Why does the domestic worker have to be black? Now for me the solution to racism will come from asnwering that simple question! Racism won’t end as long as blacks are still the definition of a domestic workers in houses of white people, they are petrol attendants in cars of white people, they are tellers in shopping malls of white people etc. So I am just going to read other peoples responses on this!
Just a further input on this issue, in my culture it is boys who wakes up to clean up after dogs mess and the irony of it all is that the boys are normally wakened up by their fathers but the same fathers wakes up to clean the dogs mess of white people. The dignity of the white peoples gardener’s is what matters for me!
In our culture shacks were created for pigs but it is our fathers who find themselves in shacks (Dignity again).
So basically for me racism is the power that puts white people as a group on top (to be the domestic helped) and black people as a group at the bottom (to be the domestic helper)!
Nkosi makes some strongly helpful points. And i believe he is speaking of the bigger picture and the systems that need to be changed and there is a whole lot of ongoing conversation about that. [Which often feels helpless because it is so huge and so much needs to be done]. So maybe the best thing is to stop for a moment and just read what he said again and let that sink in a little. Maybe it will help emphasise the hecticness if i was to replace myself and my father in that story and then try tune into those emotions.
So i don’t want to remove focus from any of that. It is all true. We need to catch a wake up and really realise what is going on around us. And try to figure out together what can be done to bring change faster. BUT at the same time i do still feel that maybe it is a BOTH/AND thing rather than an EITHER/OR. When the Bible gives slaves advice on how to treat their masters, i don’t believe it was condoning slavery, but in the context of what was a bad and unjust thing, saying that ‘Since you find yourself in this [unjust – understood] place, here is a way to live that is kingdom.
And so while the present situation [with, for the most part, black people cleaning white peoples’ houses] is not a fair and good one, there is still, i believe, ways we can work within that broken system to live in the best way possible until it is fixed/better as a whole. So if you have someone older than 20 cleaning your house or garden or looking after your children, in South Africa, then calling them girl/boy feels unacceptable. As does paying them minimum wage over a living wage. And a whole lot more.
What do you think? Are we able to tackle the smaller subtler racist tendencies that we may not always notice in ourselves while still needing to take on the bigger systemic changes that need to happen? Or do you feel that we need to start at the top and move down? Is this a helpful series to invite people to share their thoughts on, or is it proving unhelpful?
i would very much love to have your feedback on this before the continuation or decimation of this series…
[To jump back into the series and look at how we refer to people as ‘they’, click here]
Brett in trying to respond to this blog I once shared a piece on racism, here I have copied and pasted that piece:
Racism is the ability of one group to decide the fate of another group without considering the consent of the other group of people. The economic power is the actual difference in creating power. In South Afrika and largely in Amerika it is more common between the blacks and the whites. I agree with many black activists who says that blacks cannot be racist. Black people as a group do not have the power to be racist over white people as a group. Black people as a group do not have the power to decide the fate of the white people as a group.
We have mistaken acts that are prompted by racism by confusing them with racism. When the white youth painted herself with black paint and dressed herself in domestic worker clothing that was not racism but that was the manifestation of racism. Racism is not a white man beating a black man for thinking he was a criminal. Racism is not a black player in the rugby football ground who is called a Kaffer. Racism is not to all these acts that are encountered by blacks in streets or Town. Racism is not being followed by a security guard in a shop. Racism is not all these things.
Racism is what prompts these acts. It is as a result of realisation that “we are powerful than them at the end”. It is the power to call on a group of other people “these people”. Racism has all to do with the economic power of one group over the other. If justice is further denied in Afrika racism will remain the most diabolic cancer of all. Equality is the only solution and cure to racism. It is not to dismiss a white child for painting herself black, it is not to arrest the white man for assaulting a black man for thinking he was a criminal but to make the two realise they are equals by taking the power from one (involuntary) and giving to the next and that is justice.
On Monday or Tuesday, there was a huge argument on twitter over what to call a domestic worker. I grew up calling the lady who worked in our house a helper (ousi o thusang), and many people still refer to them with that title – helper. However, someone pointed out that the correct term for it is “maid”. Domestic worker is all inclusive – all jobs that are domestic, including maid, gardener (aka landscape artist), nanny, etc. With that definition, a stay-at-home mom could also be called a domestic worker. The person also felt that black people choose to call their maids “helpers” because they think the word maid is demeaning. The domestic worker is not a helper, that is their job. They are not there to help you, they are there to do a job.
The reason I bring this up: a mixture of something you said and something Nkosi said. Perhaps the bigger issue isn’t that blacks are maids, because black people have black maids too and black people have cars that get filled by black petrol attendants too – it’s not about black people serving white people. At the present moment, blacks are domestic workers, petrol attendants, etc because it’s cheap labor that only those who are desperate would be willing to do it, and those who are poor enough to be desperate are generally POC.
Perhaps the bigger issue is that we see being a maid as a lesser job…a job less worthy… We make being a maid demeaning by not recognizing it as a real profession. And maybe that’s what strips someone’s dignity, not the actual job they do.
We do that by paying them a laughable wage. We do that when we expect someone who lives in Gugs and travels by public transportation to clock in at work in Sea Point at 7 am and clock out at 7 pm, knowing that they also have kids and a family they need to take care of – which is striping them of their humanity (not seeing them as a real person) really. We do that by not regulating things like work hours, working conditions, payment for extra time, sick leave, annual leave, study leave, etc. Generally maids and gardeners don’t have the legal protection that I, as a 9 – 5’er, have.
Maybe being a maid in itself doesn’t take away your dignity, but rather the fact that the work that you do goes unnoticed, unappreciated, and is reduced to being “less”.
On Wednesday (I think) there was a huge twitter argument between people who are ok with letting their maid use their shower vs those who don’t. Apparently your maid using your shower is a fire-able offence to some…
That is amazing. Thanks T.
Would agree with all you saying T if only we were to historically look at how did it come about that maids had to be black? If we can get to that, then we would know why its still continuing! For me just the thought of a black Mother or Father working for a white person is an insult, a signb that we are living in an unjust society! If domestic helping was right we would see white people flooding in their cars in Khayelitsha to work as domestic helpers of black people. So this thing of domestic helping being a job, it shouldn’t be a job of black people, if it was to be a job! This has a slavery trace and its still caring that fullstop!
“For me just the thought of a black Mother or Father working for a white person is an insult, a signb that we are living in an unjust society”
Wow! now that is racist! You are arguing an emotive point. Your statement is not based upon fact.
Its a fair question to ask, Brett, why do you allow racist statements from black people arguing from emotion but not white people ? Or am I misinterpreting this ?
i am not sure why you are saying Nkosi’s statement is racist? i think his point is that we see it as okay for a black mother or father to work for a white person in this way but not the other way around [which is the racism he is calling out as i see it] – Tsholo on the other hand raised an interesting point about the fact that we call certain jobs menial or below us [which traditionally were given to black people for that very reason] and maybe one of the changes that needs to happen is recognising the worth of some of those jobs we have looked down upon and redeem that as well. i totally believe the way money is handed out for jobs is largely disproportionate to the real value of the jobs in SA – how politicians get more than teachers [or most people in fact] makes absolutely no sense to me…
Thousands and thousands of black men and women (my fathers and mothers) flood themselves early in the mornings in trains, taxis, buses packed like pieces of rubish. This they do to go and work in these places, and with that all happening they have to escape criminal hot spots and there ghetto itself is a criminal hotspot!
Also in these trains and buses they are so packed such that a wife of another husbands finds herself breathing closely to the face of a husband of another wife! (Dignity!). What happens when they reach their work places is far worse than what they hgave encountered already bcz they have to picj up the underwears and they have to pick up used condoms (dignity!).
Yes I agree that there are things to be worked out inside this injustice! The salaries must be raised up, but we can’t ignore the things that makes black people less of humans than other people! Black people were never created to be maids whatsoever be it if they are maids of black people (very rare) or maids of white people!
So for me with salaries raised or not but this maid thingy has to stop! This thing of having our mothers and fathers defined by this injustice it has to come to an end! Wheather Garden helper or domestic helper or whatever fency naming we may give to this it has to come to an end! It will ever remain an injustice until we see white people also in black peoples house doing this “job”!.
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