Today is known as the Day of Reconciliation. Although for most South Africans i imagine it is just seen as a public holiday.
Someone’s status caught my attention this morning and got me thinking, ‘Imagine if in South Africa we started celebrating Day of Reconciliation in the way Americalanders celebrated Thanksgiving?’ – now, as always, any analogy is as strong as the point it is trying to make so let’s just ignore all the negative aspects linked to Thanksgiving for a moment and focus on the idea of sitting around a table together and looking back and giving thanks.
DAY OF RECONCILING
This would be an amazing day to grab hold of for families. Sitting with children and explaining to them the significance of reconciliation and then modelling it to them.
But take a minute right now. Is there anyone that comes to mind who you are holding unforgiveness towards at this moment? Maybe it was something that someone said or did to you this week? Maybe earlier this year? Or perhaps something a little more deeper and more painful that happened a few years ago that you have not been able to let go of?
Is there anyone that comes to mind who you are holding unforgiveness towards at this moment?
Alternatively, it might be someone who is holding on to unforgiveness against you. Jesus had some crazy unconventional teaching to give to that scenario, which turns the whole thing on its head.
Is there someone like that who comes to mind for you? You can’t make anyone forgive you, but you can open the door to reconciliation and invite them inside. Do whatever you can do to create the bridge and perhaps give them a nudge to step over? What is radical about Jesus’ statement is that He invites us to interrupt worship to go and do it. “Don’t pretend you are all close to God and stuff if there is broken relationship with you and someone else. Fix that and then come and hang with Me.”
START AT THE MIRROR
It’s often easier to see fault in the other person. You’d think Mandela might have been someone who would have been justified being pissed off with a lot of people, but he chose to look inwardly and make sure he was right inside, for the greater good of the nation.
Each of us need to stand in front of the mirror and ask where we need to change. This is something that should be happening on a more regular basis for sure, but imagine if on one day every year, every person in the country took this seriously and did a self-reflection and reached out to those who had hurt them and who they have offended.
Now this won’t obviously magically happen overnight, but how about you start as one person, as one family, as a group of friends, as a community to make something more significant of this day. Maybe today you just do something by yourself as it’s quite short notice, but plan to set aside The Day of Reconciliation in 2016 as something more significant?
As much as Jesus’ words were powerful, His example was more so. Regardless of who you might think He really was or what you believe about Him, much of His life and actions have been captured. One of the final statements He shouted out from the cross where he was being crucified in the most horrible way known to man at the time was the following:
If an innocent man who is being tortured and killed can have the attitude of Reconciliation for those doing the killing, then how much more can we do for those who have hurt us in smaller ways? Who have said things that caused offence? Or done things – or possibly not done things – which made us sad or angry or frustrated?
How about we claim the Day of Reconciliation as an actual thing we celebrate both in not having to go to work, but also in reaching out towards those where distance has been created?
Who is one person you need to begin this with? Please come back and let me know how it goes…
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Why you not support #ZumaMustFallMarch? It’s not just white Boers but also blacks. You hypocrisy is not good as you support fees must fall but you not a student. You SA citizen so go support #Zumamustfall. It’s both whites and blacks involved now. Go support it or don’t complain if rand falls.
Well Thabang, those are some pretty quick accusations you throw without taking time to hear answers to your questions. I had a previous engagement today of a personal nature that felt as important as a March and so I stuck with that. But also I have friends who strongly support the March and one black friend in particular who is strongly against the March so still trying to figure it out for myself. It is not clear cut and also it felt like the March was going to be largely white supported so trying to process that as well.
The same price hikes affect people in Khayelitsha more than the “privileged” that u speak of because they are poor. That’s all because of corruption. Why are u making this about race? Is it a sign that u support corruption? Does that mean you don’t put aside your differences from others for the greater good? Please reflect, there’s a time for everything and calling for Zuma to be recalled is not a time to cry racism because he’s a liability. That’s a fact!
Okay i don’t know you but why do you not support it? Many whites did support fees must fall. The Zuma jet us 4 billion rand. Did you know is enough for 40 000 students. It could he free education for all tertiary qualified students. Free if you pass. So fees must fall is a subsidiary of zumamustfall as he is the case of high fees. Really wake up.
I feet you sitting on the fence. You need to fall onto one side or the other. Why you jot committed to stopping this corruption? Blame whites yes, they did apartheid true. Blame colonialism but then why so many of us wanting white goods? You see, we can’t detach it. Good and bad both came from it.
You my friend must stop fence sitting. Get behind this, you know it’s right. Please I empower you to do this now. Say ZANC must fall. Let a decent leader lead us. If you want to lead or want someone to then say it. Don’t just blame and say it’s whites only. I see whites marching and it means a lot. They could he at camps Bay but they with me and my friends marching. Where were you today on this great day in history? Come on Man. Please get behind this.
This is a very complicated time in our history and it is not going to do anyone good to have easy answers when there don’t seem to be any. I am not sitting on the fence – I am listening and trying to learn and make sure I end up on the right side of this history. I was at #FeesMustFall at both UCT and UWC. Today I was undecided about the March and I had something more important to attend to. That does not mean I am fence sitting. I am against the corruption of Zuma but I am also aware that him falling is not enough of a solution right now for a country which has a lot of corruption at the top as well as a lot of inequality and the after effects of privilege and more. So I will continue to read and listen and speak and wrestle and act and I hope that you will as well but be careful of judging those around you from one single perspective without taking time to hear more of where they are from and what they are about.
I see, you sitting not on fence but in the cinema. It’s more important ad you said to attend cinema.
You won’t be in history at all. You won’t change it. You just a talker and one who takes no action. A liberal with no teeth.
You said it, cinema is more important.
OK i get it.
No, you actually don’t get it at all. Yesterday’s cinema visit was with a really good friend of mine who has had a really rough year and it was his favourite movie series and that was the priority for me. I was at the UCT March and part of the UWC negotiations; I use my blog to create spaces for conversation and wrestling; my wife and I use our home as a place to host deep dive challenging conversations on race, on money and more… What about you Thabang? What have you done? What are you doing besides sitting comfortably behind your computer or phone and flinging mud at me who you don’t even know or have much of a clue of. What is your involvement or engagement in this story?
You have more important things to attend than our county. Like cinema. I get it.
You complain about whites not marching at students gatherings. It was a student march and if not us, I am a student, someone will have to pay this fees. Who? Hey? Who will pay the fees? If not students, who? Who paid your ticket at the cinema? Must it be free? Must someone else pay it? You getting it now? Besides many whites were at the fee protest.
Protesting about all fees is silly. It’s a bigger picture you need to stop myopic views Mr. Yes I used to blame apartheid, but after 22 years it’s getting lame.
The point is you can’t fence sit. You must take a stand. Grow a set of balls. I’m. Sure it will help you. Grow balls and take a side. Why do you care what side of history you on? At least go with your heart and do it. You not looking for fame. Do what you think is right. Don’t just fence sit or cinema sit in your case.
Tens if thousands of whites as well as thousands of blacks marched together. Go look at the photos. And you? Where were you?
I learnt a lot about how white people march. It was no violence, no toyi toyi just singing sons and marching. Nobody threw stones like with black marches. This is why black police got along and even took pictures and sang along with the marchers. Don’t read into it saying it’s oppression. If black marchers dud the same, there would be no arrest.
So it’s up to you. Get behind something. Stop writing what other people do. Do it yourself. Go march. Go stop corruption. If Zuma is out and Cyril is out and we have a good guy in, fees will fall, good things will rise. Okay but you a city boy living in cinemas and coffee houses. So maybe you will get behind coffee price must fall? Okay let’s see in the coming months what you actually do. Tired of you coming with a ramble about what someone else did. Go do it. Don’t be a fence sitting rambler. Take a gamble with history. Do it. What you feel is right. You should have been at the march. You know it.
I shouldn’t have been at the march and I wasn’t. And I was where I needed to be. And I don’t think I will be marching for coffee prices to fall any time soon. You’re tired of me coming with a ramble? Then go away Thabang. I’m tired of your accusations and this is clearly not the place for you to be. You do know you don’t have to read my blog, right? You don’t have to come here. I’m more interested in people looking to learn and teach and engage and walk alongside me in my journey which is a complicated and confusing and difficult one. I’m trying to figure it out fest j can and am sure I get it wrong s lot if the time. But i have friends who will challenge me without throwing stones and so k think I will stick with them. You haven’t come here to help or challenge. You’ve just come to rant and that is unhelpful to me right now so please move along.
[…] Whereas i was just like let’s subvert the whole day and make it into a regular traditional thing… […]
Yes, the world entire needs to look in the mirror to help see what they need to learn; Regardless of religion, ones country or origin etc. Jews have Yom Kippur (The Day of Atonement) It’s not enough to ask for a ‘blanket forgiveness’, one must have to recognize their faults, sins and slights and be genuinely intending not to repeat these.
Nelson Mandela’s words have always touched me so deeply regarding ‘learning to hate.’ I was never even aware that racism existed! My Father was very dark skinned Italian. My Mother was fair and Danish. As we tend to do in America, when a person is as close (closer) than Family by blood, they are referred to as Aunt or Uncle. My Fathers dearest Friend was Black; I knew him as Uncle John. We lived in a small beach community (pretty rural) Until I went to school and had another student say “he can’t be your uncle, he’s colored” (an expression used back in 1960) I could not quite wrap my mind around the concept that ‘shading’ mattered; Especially since my Family get consisted of more shades than a paint store!
I’m 60 now. I’m not perfect and learn new things every day. But there is one thing I am happy I never learned and never will…To this day I STILL cannot ‘wrap my mind around’ the idea that color matters to some people.
As far as making a change, I never deluded myself into thinking I could change the world. HOWEVER, as it’s true that Love and acceptance is re-learned as when we were innocent Children, I have changed ONE persons mind. It was the spouse of a Friend. He used racial slurs as easily as saying the words ‘salt’ or ‘table.’ having overheard him using a slur one day, my Friend ‘shot him a look’. I think he thought I was going to smack him when I went up close to him.
Instead, I said “ok. I need to understand where you’re coming from. Are you more educated than that man? Do you Love your Family MORE? Do your ailments hurt less? Is his Family ok with him having been shot? Will HIS Child watch TV and toddle off to bed as usual knowing her Father was worth less? Your Family Loves me, and I Love them. If I was killed tonight, would you embrace someone saying ‘no great loss, just another guinea?’ If your wife was killed is it alright to say ‘dump pollack, wrong place at the wrong time?’ ”
We talked for a LONG time. it made a difference. He’s now an Uncle and very close to his adopted Nephew…who is Black. I don’t know what kind of a man the kid will grow up to be, but if he ‘learns’ bigotry, It won’t be from his Uncle.
I guess if we can just catch ONE ear it can have a ‘domino effect.’ If ONE tremor can cause an earthquake to take down a whole city, then yes, ONE voice can change the world.
Keep standing for Love, Peace, Tolerance, Forgiveness and Understanding…even if you sometimes feel like you’re talking to ‘thin air’, it can ‘catch the wind.’
Shalom,
DC
Thanks so much for this. When the stories of the one are added up they will soon equal the many.
Is this lame or what? Haha equal the many. What you saying man. You a kung fu master? No man, do you want wine with that cheese?
Oh I thought you left?
I was at all 4 big marches. Statue. Fees. Service delivery. Zuma go. You at cinema as you had a tough year or your friend did. Ok I hope cinema fees fall. Grow balls and get out there. Stop pretending to be black. You not black. I have been black since I was born and you know nothing. We don’t hate white people, we prefer the Afrikaner to white liberals who are pretenders. You should have supported this corruption match. It’s bigger than fees march. I hope you get it.
It is true. I am not black. Oh well.
You delete my post? Ok I get it. I’m outta here. Grow those balls and no more fence sitting.
You make as if you crying about black people. You make as if it’s a big drama to go watch a march. You must participate. You a drama queen. Go take up drama. Stop writing as if you hurting and pain from. White people standing up for black people. Stopping corruption helps us all. You in pain because you fenced sitting on your balls and you see other white people doing much more than you. You doing not much but stirring the potkie pot. You a kind of a troll, just stirring debate. But why nothing of your own? Commit to something. Take side stop fence sitting. Grow balls now. Please.
You talk a lot about balls.
I’m a man and not a boy. I take a side and go do it. I’m real Man. You sit on your fence with a laptop and coffee at a coffee bar. This is not a revolution, you doing, it’s elitism, look how clever I am postings. I’m not too clever but I’m there. I march, I protest, I see there are thousands of whites and blacks marching at yesterday’s protest action.
Yes, it’s not right for you. It’s not your thing. Okay I get it. You prefer a march where there are only black people then you can be that one white dude who is a saint. Haha you must not be so devious here. I get it. You better wake up and get a set of balls. It will move you forward to manhood and taking a side. Not just sitting and posting rubbish. Now I’m afraid I’m fine with you here for now. I’ll return when you post something decent. Your blog is become boring. I’m falling asleep reading your ramblings and drama of you in tears about us blacks but then you sit in air con cinema ad it’s right for you. Haha Hope it was not too high for your cappuccino. Good bye now
Don’t let the door hit you on the way out. Balls.