[Just make sure you read all the way to the end of this one…]

There was a guy named Thando who lived down the road from me.

He used to walk past my house on the way to school.

One day, as a joke, i decided to ice the path in front of our house. Thando walked by as per normal and was totally taken unawares when his feet slipped out from under him and he crashed on to the ground. i thought it was pretty funny.

A few days later i grabbed a whole bunch of devil’s thorns and scattered them all over the ground in front of our gate and then covered them up with leaves. Thando came by as per usual and with the thin soles on his old shoes, i don’t need to go into how effective my plan was.

A week or so later, i decided to test out my new catty. Amazing the accuracy on that thing. Thando didn’t think it was such a great idea though. He also seemed quite irritated when it was the turn of my bb gun although i was only using the plastic bullets.

This carried on for a number of years. Water balloons, freshly laid cement trap, hiding my rottweiler near the gate until the moment he stepped next to it and then making her bark so loudly [man, you should have seen his face]. So many other moments of fun.

One day, for no reason at all, Thando set fire to my car and burned it to the ground. i couldn’t believe it. Fortunately, the neighbours who saw him doing it and alerted the police. They could not believe what they were seeing – what kind of a hooligan sets fire to a car. Most of them just shook their heads and mouthed statements like, “Typical!” while some of them really lost their cool and said some really mean things to Thando. After all it could have been their car.

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Okay, so this is NOT a true story. There is no Thando who i used to persecute. But i hope this story will in some way illustrate the need for us to take a step back and ask questions, when we see something that does not make sense.

For the neighbours in question, the only thing they saw was Thando burning my car. Completely unprovoked [in their experience]. Surely it would help for a moment for them to ask, “Well why would someone who walks this way all the time choose to burn that car on this occasion?” And possibly, “Did Brett have anything to contribute to his car being burnt?” “Why was he chosen instead of us?”

A deeper investigation might have revealed the years upon years of bullying and terror i had put Thando through. The physical pain that he had endured based on what i thought were a series of funny jokes. The times that the pain or emotional scarring had been so great that he had missed school and the run on effect that might have had on his education.

Students burning things in protest? Are there perhaps some similar questions we might need to be asking? Is it as clear cut and obvious as we think?

At the same time, i think we need to give a lot more space to the Both/And of things as we tend to get stuck in the Either/Or.

In the example above is it possible that Thando’s grievance was absolutely without doubt, but that at the same time burning my car might not have been the absolute best response.

Can we look at what is happening on our university campuses and agree that some of the outworkings of the fear and anger might not be the absolute best way of going about things but that they are indicative of the fact that we need to seriously listen to people who don’t feel listened to.

Perhaps there is some middle ground. But simply dismissing an action because it feels to out there or extreme for us, might mean we are missing a much deeper story and also the possibility of positive and healthy change and transformation.

Let’s try be more slow to judge, more quick to ask questions and really listen to what is going on.