so yesterday i posted about new year’s evolutions – with the idea of moving beyond a dream list of ‘i wish this for next year’ to some specific steps and actions to put into place to help you transform yourself into a better person in 2012. and my first evolution suggestion is this:

HANG OUT WITH THE RIGHT PEOPLE

different people have different capacity for friendship and so everyone i imagine has different levels or degrees of friendship – not everyone can be our best friend and nor would we want them to be – but i believe it is important to have some significant people as close friends and to be intentional about building and growing relationship with them – so as you enter the new year, identify two to five people who can be these things for you [not necessarily one thing per person but between your close friends you should look to have this list covered]:

# people who build into your life – there are a lot of people who you can have fun with, but some people you leave them and feel like you have grown or benefited just from hanging with them – conversation will go beyond sport/food/movies and on to deeper things like life, love, God, changing the world – not always, there will be fun and crazy too, but a sense of realness and depth categorises this person and friendship – these people are so valuable…

#encourage – someone who cheers you on, whether it’s in relationships or work/school or just general life things – someone who, when the world is throwing tomato’s will come along side you, lift you up, put their arm around you and just love you…

#hold you accountable/wound you with love – proverbs 27.6 here ‘wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses’ – one thing to ensure before you invite this friend to speak into your life is that you can take the ‘wounds’ they might dish out – it is SO IMPORTANT to have someone in your life who is not a ‘yes person’ and will just thumb up everything you say or do – someone who when they notice you are in danger of messing up, will gently pull you aside and bring friendly caution and if necessary, gentle rebuke – you won’t always like this person and what they bring, but you will always appreciate it, because even if they get it wrong from time to time, you know the love it comes with. this person needs to be invited to speak into your life as it won’t happen naturally and once you give the invitation then you need to be prepared that they may just act on it… i honestly feel like my life is open to accountability to everyone, but some of the specific people i have invited to speak strongly into my life are my beautiful wife Valerie and then people like Rob Lloyd, Regan Didloff, Mandy Hunt, Bruce Collins, Chris Lindemann, Mike Strauss and others…

#listen to you/shoulder to cry on – you may need this person on call after the previous person is done with you… just kidding, but it is important to have someone or ones who will just listen to you when life has kicked you in the sore places – not feel the need to give you answers or solve your problems [so i may not be the best one for this, eek] but someone who will hear when you are struggling or angry or hurt or confused and just give you some love and a shoulder if you need to shed tears [which are a great thing and i wish i could do it more!]

#challenge/inspire/push you – i had this as two separate things but decided to combine them – someone who will help you to go further than you have been before – to try new things – to take risks [the good kind] – to pursue the life to the full that Jesus spoke about when He described His mission here on earth [John 10.10]

i am sure there are other things that could be added to this list and feel free to comment and do so below, but these are some of the important things that came to mind in terms of the right kind of people you should hang out with – not exclusively [see my next post] but make sure that you are intentional in terms of spending time with these kinds of people…

to continue to part ii click here…