bethandbethguy

Hi brett. I saw you put up a request for inter- racial relationship stories: here’s a bit of mine:

in 150 days i’m marrying my best friend and the love of my life. He is coloured and i’m white and we are the best for each other.

When I look at him I don’t see my culture or his – I see two people working out life with a different approach and mentality… this goes beyond our cultures and the bounderies it sets us in. We met here at a christian art school and couldn’t be more different in personality. He is waffle and i’m spaghetti… our first year of friendship was filled with misunderstandings, fights and frustrasions which we think back on and laugh at now. I couldn’t understand why he was so rigid and he couldn’t understand why I was so scatterbrained. I look back now and see we couldn’t be more right for each other.

It’s actually quite funny when you go to his house everything is quiet…. when at my house it’s the complete opposite. Many people would have thought it was the other way round. You see, culture has a big part to play in the way you grow up and many times shapes your view on life… but i’ve learned there is ultimately one culture that should shape me and that is kingdom culture where we understand who we are in Christ which supersedes the limitations of this world.

Many people ask me how my mom feels about it, and she couldn’t be more delighted. She loves him as her son and i believe it’s got alot to do with what she imparted to me that I can love beyond borders, colour or culture… I believe from when i was young that I knew in my heart I was born for nations and was going to marry cross culturally. It has not always been easy but like every couple we worked through the same relational stuff. I do believe some people find cultural differences bigger than others, but in my case it wasn’t difficult. With his family i feel so at home and part of his family…

Some funny moments: When I was speaking to an afrikaans girl and replied, “rerig” and before I knew it I said it like a coloured “rerig”. It was so funny, needless to say, I quickly corrected myself but was hosing myself on the inside.

He loves fast cars and hip hop and loves his sound booming from his speakers, he has an impecable taste in fashion , and loves to dance – these are things he grew up with and i would never want to change. We have been best friends for 5 years and now we’re getting married! I feel like the most blessed woman alive.

About 5 years ago he had this gold chain. He used to wear it over his ties. The one day I saw him wearing it and I teased him about it.. . Last year I asked him so what happened to that chain and he told me how this girl went up to him the one day and teased him about it so he stopped wearing it… of course I had forgotten about what happened but as he told me his story I realised that that girl was me…

 i have not noticed any moments of being judged or stared at… when i’m walking with my friends they’ve said that people stare – mostly because it challenges them on their boundaries and they are unfamiliar… but i honestly can say i’m blind to it when it happens…

[To read more stories on the topics of mixed race and culture connections, click here]