Continuing my series looking at how white people can be more effective allies to their friends of colour as we seek reconciliation and restitution and try to see South Africa head more towards where it should be…
The title of this post might seem like a bit of a contradiction having just written one called Move to the Back, but it’s not.
Last night i was lamenting to my wife, tbV, that life as an attempted white ally can feel a little lonely and confusing. i don’t believe it must be left to our black friends to lead the way in how we ally [as so many of them are tired of trying to explain to yet another white person the concepts of white privilege, restitution and so much more] but at the same time i don’t see many of my white friends engaging with these things in the same way [i am very grateful for friends at the Warehouse for example who engage with these things on really deep levels in other significant ways] so a lot of it feels like making it up on the spot and hoping i get it right. i believe that my black friends will feel the freedom and invitation to jump in and let me know when they think i get it wrong [yes Nkosi? Sindile? Felicity? Linde? Tsholo?] but it’s not fair to expect them to wage this battle.
Then today i jumped on and saw my friend Anne GOING OFF on this very topic and it gave me such a sense of relief. i’m not alone. Her post was a little more colourful and in your face than i think mine ever are [watch out Facebook!] and i have asked her to let me share some of it so hopefully we will get to see that later this week.
My point being that for other white people who understand white privilege and get the need to educate those who don’t and understand the need for us to be listening and learning more than we speak and try to lead, you need to step out of the shadows into the light. It is great when you favourite and like and even share, but we desperately need you to add your own words and voice to it [Thank you Alexa Matthews, Duncan Hobbs, Anne Katherine…] to show that these are not just the crazy ramblings of one or two libtards i think they call me these days.
i need it. And i imagine it would be a huge boost to the community of those we are allying ourselves to, to know they had more than one or two people they could count on. It is scary and confusing and it feels like there is a lot of pressure because of what is riding on this all to get it right. But we can’t let that stop us. We need to educate ourselves and make sure we get the facts and the stories right so that we can speak with conviction and authority. But we cannot stay silent any longer.
Too many did during apartheid.
Too many did during #RhodesMustFall
How many confrontations must happen before we decide we need to get in there and show what we are standing for?
Let’s do this.
[For the next part of this series on Just Saying No!, click here]
[…] Part 5: Step Into the Light […]
[…] [For the next post calling for White Allies to Out Themselves, click here] […]
Listen up. You delete and block people because you are not man enough to argue against them. Why not challenge and engage instead? You simply delete. Deleting does not change their views, but only strengthens them. It’s dangerous to censor and block and delete as it builds up conviction and leads to more confrontation. You should at least leave the posts you don’t agree with for someone with bigger balls to try argue against. Don’t be a little man.
Chris, i’m not sure who you are or if you’re one of the many pseudenym’d anonymous people who like to camp out on my blog – if you say that i don’t challenge and engage then you certainly haven’t been hanging around here along enough as that is all that i do.
When commentary gets racist or offensive then at times i do delete it as i refuse to post hate speech on my blog. Wait, what’s that? My blog. Oh yes, that’s right. This is my space and i can do what i want here – that i choose to entertain people a lot longer than most people i know think is necessary is just one of those things. But i am looking for serious engagement around topics that really mean something to a lot of people and i won’t be bullied into letting ridiculous statements and racist rants have much more time than they deserve.
Chris, i’m not sure who you are or if you’re one of the many pseudenym’d anonymous people who like to camp out on my blog – if you say that i don’t challenge and engage then you certainly haven’t been hanging around here along enough as that is all that i do.
When commentary gets racist or offensive then at times i do delete it as i refuse to post hate speech on my blog. Wait, what’s that? My blog. Oh yes, that’s right. This is my space and i can do what i want here – that i choose to entertain people a lot longer than most people i know think is necessary is just one of those things. But i am looking for serious engagement around topics that really mean something to a lot of people and i won’t be bullied into letting ridiculous statements and racist rants have much more time than they deserve.
If you think insulting me and then telling me you agree with much of what i say but i should let you fight against the people who think differently is the best way to engage with me then maybe think through your words first before you spew them on to my page. i do not censor the majority of what comes my way but there is a line and i get to choose where that is.
Yes it’s your blog. Yes you can do whatever you want here. You can voice your own opinions and get your followers to come read it. You have a big audience and somehow managed to cultivate a large following. What you say may reach many. Many may not agree with what you say however. Your blog yes. Your line. Your say. Your opinion. Your articles. Your views. You should be willing to engage even if it means to challenge your own concrete views.
You do your own blog and arguments no justice if you only allow what you agree with on here. You claim to want to change the world, but close a platform for discussion. Is it not better to discuss it, swear and argue on here albeit without resorting to gutter tactics than to build up a slow burn and go get violent? Allow discussion and you will have a far greater audience. Or stay with your 1 or 2 comments a week.
I put a challenge to you. If you were president… With a 80 percent following to change the constitution. What would you do?
Look I agree with much of what you say, but would also like to argue against what others say who are against what you say. I lose a bit of respect when you excessively censor even though it is your blog. You want people here to engage and challenge but then block and delete them. Doesn’t make sense man. I say keep the posts here for all to comment on.
I was at uct and saw the blockade. Anyone has a right to freedom of movement. I’m sure many world be scared if thry saw burning tyres and hundreds of protesters. Anyone would ride through the barricade to escape. Don’t blame the white guy. Don’t blame the black students. Blame the corrupt ANC.
White people largely stayed silent during apartheid. They largely did the same during #RhodesMustFall. What must it take for us to start genuinely engaging with people who are not like us and hearing their stories and realising that maybe we do not have the monopoly on Truth and how it is. There is no longer an excuse of ‘i didn’t know’ to be had.
Rhodes is the reason there is UCT. Look I agree that there were good and bad points about the man, but the same can be said for Mandela. Both should have statues as they are part of our common history. It’s like censorship – we need to hear all sides.
With the recent student protests over fees, sure I agree the fees must be lower, but who will pay for it? Surely students should be protesting against ANC wastage of tax money? These billions could go towards free education for all. Why target whites again as much of the protest seems to be about.
Who are you, Chris? What’s your last name? You have me at a disadvantage…
Mason. No don’t mean to put you at a disadvantage. Just thinking of ways to argue it out so that we can get it all out then move forward on a path of reconciliation. Never avoid a good argument no matter how bad it is. It’s better than to build up hatred and take to violence. I was once a terrible racist but after marrying a black lady and having two small children, I feel it’s important to argue it out. To this day I argue with my wife about race related issues. We agree on many things now
Chris, i don’t think i censor as much stuff as you think i do. i generally allow most stuff to go through and every now and then when it gets offensive and racist or is just so completely off the point that it is distracting from the point or argument at hand then i step in, and i’m not going to stop that. You have no idea what comes through here and i don’t want some of my friends of colour reading some of the racist bile that some people spew. i do challenge and i am open to push back from people who think differently from me, but i will also set boundaries that feel safe for this space and what i am hoping to accomplish. If someone thinks really strongly different from me then i will invite them round for a meal and we’ll do it face to face which is much better cos the internet is not great with tone. i disagree with you that there are no arguments worth avoiding – some are unhelpful and destructive to the people nearby and i am okay with having some sort of control over that.
Many whites wanted to be a part of it, but felt that blacks took ownership of it. It’s as if they wanted it for themselves and that whites could not really be a part of it. I don’t know if that’s totally true but it’s how it felt for many white students. Even with the protests today, mmusi visited but was chased away as they felt he was stealing the limelight. I feel sometimes thry want something to be a part of. A romanticism or wanting to be part of a struggle. A left out generation looking to identify with something.
One last comment. Most white people do acknowledge privilege but it’s the ANC that propagates it by wasting and stealing. R70 BILLION lost to corruption. That could educate about a few hundred thousand doctors engineers and scientists. Fully paid for. We all need to unite, both black and white and get behind someone like mmusi in the DA.
Government corruption is definitely a problem. But I have come across enough white people who don’t acknowledge privilege or get very defensive when you start speaking about it – I think cos of lack of understanding most of the time actually, thinking it means something else – to think that most white people are not there yet. But there is work on the ground to be done while we wait and hope that government will get their act together.