Marriage is a beautiful amazing incredible thing. But it is not always as easy as it looks from the outside.

The purpose of Taboo Topics on this blog is to create a place where people can share stories on topics that are rarely spoken about. Marriage being tough or requiring work or needing counselling to help you get by, is definitely one of those.

The hope is that if you are someone who is married, the stories that are shared here will be an encouragement to you, especially if you are someone who has found it quite tough. There is no blueprint for marriage, because each one is made up of two people who are both unique and come with their own set of back stories and issues and selfishnesses and hangups. Tension is likely. Wrestling, i would suggest is mandatory. Although some marriages do seem to be a lot easier than others, there is always stuff to work out and for some people that comes easier than others.

What often happens – in the lead up to christians getting married at least – is that you get marriage counselling before you get married and then you get married and it’s like you are pushed out of the nest with a big “Good Luck!” and left to fend on your own.

Going for counselling after you are married tends to be a there-is-stuff-hitting-the-fan-and-we-need-help-quick¬†desperate attempt at avoiding a crash. Which is a pity. Because whether it is formal and paid for or simply connecting with a married couple or two who you both trust who can spend time with you and speak into your marriage, receiving counsel feels like a healthy thing. Sometimes all you need is someone in the room to help create a space where you can both be a little more honest and real with each other. Val and i have been for counselling and it did wonders for our marriage. Don’t wait til there is an impending crash.

So i asked some friends if they would be willing to share their stories and this is where i will stick them as they arrive…

Meet Dannean and Sean and the story of the weddingS

Meet Catherine and Alastair and “Marriage is Hard”