Taboo Topics: Losing a baby [intro]

Taboo Topics: Losing a baby [intro]

this series of blog posts has been on my heart and mind for well over a year and i am excited to finally be at the point of getting started on it.

there are a number of incredibly important, life-transforming, heart-breaking life events that happen to huge numbers of people that no-one, or very few people, ever seem to talk publically about – and so for the most part there are hundreds or thousands of people living quietly and alone with their pain or confusion, struggling along as if they are the only ones that have gone through that thing and as if help or advice or at the very least understanding is not freely available.

my hope with ‘Taboo Topics’ is to be able to deal with one of those topics at a time by finding people who have experienced the very thing in question and are brave enough to share their stories and hopefully also offer some insight and advice as to how they managed to get up again, dust themselves off and keep going…

and the first one that i am wanting to look at is a hectic topic – that of losing a child and i am specifically wanting to look at miscarriage or stillbirth so a baby that has died before it has been given birth to, or very soon after, before the parents concerned really get a decent chance to build relationship. i heard a while back that this is a lot more frequent than most people would expect and i know that i have hardly ever heard about it and so there must be a lot of people silently suffering alone [or alone as a couple] with something that is either too painful or shameful to speak about.

i really hope this blog series will be a light at the end of that dark tunnel for a lot of you. by simply writing my intentions as a facebook status i was inundated with responses from a number of very brave people who want to share their stories and so i am wanting to create a space for them to do so. if you know of someone who you think will benefit from hearing the stories that follow, please feel free to cut and paste/tweet/share/link/email, whatever it takes to let them know that these stories are here.

you are not alone. there is a light. and there are many people who have walked this road and are walking it and will offer you support where you are on it.

click here to read the story of Graeme and Nicole

click here to read the story of Heidi and Shaun

click here to read the story of Sandi and Mike

Jennifer (and Allyn) Harris Dault has shared a whole series of blog posts with us as she walks through this difficult time.

click here to read the story of Debbie and Bruce [infertility and losing a child]

click here to read the mother’s side of the first story we shared as we hear from Nicole, Graeme’s wife

click here to read the story of Grant and Mauri

click here to read the story of Sandra and Shane

five more stories and links to resources including those of David and Sarah Seabrook, Cath, Margaret Ann and Adam Schaaf, Rory and Debbi Windell and Adrian and Benita Wright

and finally a rather more hardcore, in your face, pull-no-punches, commentary specifically for those who have not gone through it, from someone who is still living through the pain

About the Author:

Brett Fish is a lover of life, God, tbV [the beautiful Valerie] and owns the world's most famous stuffed dolphin, No_bob (who doesn't bob). He believes that we are all responsible for making the world a significantly better place for everyone.


  1. […] i know who are married well]‘ to the ‘i kissed dating series’. Then, recently, the first of the Taboo Topics series i have started [trying to look at issues that a lot of people have but rarely discuss] was really […]

  2. […] little while ago [well, a month it seems] i started a series called ‘Taboo Topics’ where i wanted to look at some serious issues in life that deeply affect people but that rarely get […]

  3. […] Losing a Baby […]

  4. […] Losing a Baby […]

  5. […] that have been shared have been for other people – i think particularly of Singleness, Losing a Child, Infertility, Parents of young children [when it hasn't been particularly easy] and […]

  6. […] very first topic i started ‘Taboo Topics’ with was that of losing a baby with the idea that there are a lot of people who go through that horrific ordeal, but yet not many […]

  7. […] have already looked at some powerful stories from people who have lost a baby and those who have lost a child, but what about someone who has lost a person who has been in their […]

  8. […] my blog is probably the Taboo Topics section where we look at topics rarely spoken about such as losing a baby or infertility, singleness or being a parent of young children when it’s really really hard, […]

  9. Beth Morey June 9, 2014 at 9:10 pm - Reply

    Our firstborn died before she breathed. I write openly about her and grief and life/parenting after stillbirth on my blog…I just wanted to say thank you for giving space for this. Have you heard of the film Return To Zero? A lot of grieving parents are hoping this will break the taboo on babyloss.

    • brettfish June 9, 2014 at 9:15 pm - Reply

      Thank you Beth. I am not sure I have heard of that movie, feels like a vague recollection but definitely sounds like something I should find out more about. Do you know where I can get hold of it? Be good to stick a link on here for others too. Early sorry to hear about your life. Can only imagine in the smallest part what that must be like but have had a number of friend go through it. It sounds like you have written a bunch, but if you ever wanted to write a piece to add on here I’d be happy to look at it… Strength and love, Brett fish

  10. […] spoken about both in church and often in general life. Particularly some harder experiences [like losing a baby, infertility, being a parent of a child when it's not been that easy and even singleness for some […]

  11. […] [For other encouraging stories from Parents who have Lost a Baby, click here] […]

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