Who do you know?

Graeme Codrington shared an article on my Facebook page today with this statement at the top of it:

For my South African friends, we’re having an interesting time at the moment, as we talk again about race relations. It’s hard, and sometimes hurting, but I love that we’re having this conversation. It’s better than not having it!

That really struck me. He went on to list about 20 names of different people he credited for having ‘helped shape my views on race, culture and identity’. 

The conversations are important and it makes me so happy that so many people are engaging in them. It makes me sad when i see people that aren’t or when i see comments from people who are aggressive and obviously don’t get it. But so many people are stepping towards. And that is of vital importance. Our country is at a tipping point and if enough of us don’t walk towards, who knows what might happen. Did anyone see the t-shirts at Wits yesterday? i think that is the consequence of people who don’t feel walked towards. What are we going to do to remedy that?

People are starting to share stories of a #NotOnOurWatch nature on Facebook. “I saw this person being racist and I stepped in.” “I heard this woman speaking down to the cashier and I got involved.” Stepping in to areas of racism and prejudice needs to become our new normal.

THE EASIEST WAY FORWARD

But i am completely convinced with everything in me, that no matter how important the conversations are and the moments of stepping into situations and declaring the new normal, the most important thing in this conversation will happen when we know people of other races. i mean really know them. Have them over for meals and be invited to their places. When we start investing more deeply and prioritising our friendships with people who are different to us, then the conversation moves from issues to real people. That is when true change will happen. Because i find it fairly easy to speak about issues with a kind of detached stance. You can deal with it ‘over there’ a little bit away from you and it’s more of a philosophical or mental exercise and it doesn’t really affect you.

But the moment it starts to affect your people, it will start to affect you. When do people of colour become your people? When you start investing in those friendships. I’m convinced of it.

Not ‘for the sake of having friends of colour’. Not ‘for the purpose of learning’. Not to create the sense of diversity in and around your life, especially on social media. But to help you become a better person. As with when i challenged myself to diversify my reading list, of the kinds of people i invited to shape my thinking [different gender, different race, different religion] so i think it is true with the people we invite into our lives and whose invitations we respond to.

STAY AT THE TABLE

As Graeme said, ‘we’re having an interesting time at the moment, as we talk again about race relations. It’s hard, and sometimes hurting, but I love that we’re having this conversation. It’s better than not having it!’

Please let’s keep talking. But let’s be looking to know as well.

The Biggest “Yes!” for South Africa right now, is going to be a mass “Know!”