some last thorts on this 'HOW FAR IS TOO FAR?' question... i want to expand a little on the TAKE YOUR TIME principle i mentioned. We live in a time of INSTANT GRATIFICATION - microwaves and sms's and takeaway coffee. This has affected our minds and lifestyles and we have gotten completely caught up in it and it is NOT ALWAYS A GOOD THING because there is NO SUCH THING AS AN INSTANT RELATIONSHIP. Some [...]
continuing with the HOW FAR IS TOO FAR question... finished the first part by saying this: So THE QUESTION you frame will sound a lot more like this – HOW CAN I LOVE AND RESPECT THIS PERSON i am in a relationship with to the extent that if the dating relationship ever ends, he/she does not walk away with A WHOLE LOT OF BAGGAGE [physically, emotionally...] and HOW MUCH CAN I SAVE OF MYSELF AND [...]
Belgium. i would say that Belgium is probably TOO FAR. Unless you're in Holland, cos then it's just like down the road or something... But in our recent history or being asked to speak or lead workshops on relationships, THE ONE QUESTION that the beautiful val and i GET ASKED WITHOUT FAIL is this one: HOW FAR IS TOO FAR? And the answer is very simple. ASK A BETTER QUESTION! Because with 'How far is [...]
Continuing the series on Christ-following dating, trying to look at PRINCIPLES THAT WILL HELP MAKE IT EASIER for us to date more successfully and healthy'ly... I want to look at THE BREAK-UP which we see as a NEGATIVE THING, right? "Francesca and Orville broke up? Aw shame, sorry guys" is the general response we have to that [especially if the dating couple was Francesca and Orville, otherwise we may have used other names]. But I [...]
this will be a quick one but it is an important principle... those of you who are still in high school who are reading this will - more than likely - not be thinking about marriage at this stage of your lives and why should you? well here is one reason... the PURPOSE OF DATING, as i see it, is for the most part to determine whether the person you are dating is a SUITABLE [...]
continuing with a look at the whole dating thing and how JESUS-FOLLOWERS NEED TO BE UPPING THEIR GAME, transforming their lives thru A RENEWING OF THEIR MINDS and being part of creating a BETTER, HEALTHIER SYSTEM OF DATING... this one is closely linked to the previous one which was about dating someone who has JESUS AS THEIR NUMBER ONE, which is ESSENTIAL, and it deals with a sense of compatability looking specifically at VISION AND [...]
working thru anonymous email - continuing with part 2... Then you look at the girls who are dating. Just have a look around in churches and think about it. I’ve actually heard a sermon being preached on dating, where the pastor said that we should make ourselves attractive for the opposite sex. At one point he basically said ” so you girls who are slightly overweight, don’t be too upset if you’re not dating” . [...]
hey anonymous friend thankx for the email and the sharing and the questions - some hectic and hardcore and challenging questions indeed and i don't want to patronise you in the slightest by assuming i have the answers to all of them, if any of them, but i do have some thorts and i hope you will find them helpful and instructive. One of my main issues that I have with dating in the church [...]
i got this email from a friend of mine and because it covers a bunch of relevant issues with regards to christians dating i asked her if she minded if i shared it and answered - or tried to - some of them publically - i will include just the email here and the reply in the following linked blog... Hi Brett, How are you doing? Just warning you in advance, this is quite a [...]
i believe it is imperative that THE NUMBER 1 THING IN YOUR LIFE IS THE NUMBER 1 THING IN HER LIFE [i'm talking guy to girl here, but all of this flows both ways] when it comes to passion and interests and hobbies and so on there is room to have differing, even at times opposing interests, but NOT WHEN IT COMES TO YOUR PRIMARY FOCUS and joy and directional force. in the context of [...]