my cousin Laura died two days ago.
she was 30. recently married. then cancer reared its ugly head. absolute tragedy.
just before she went into hospital i did get to send her an email and let her know that i loved her and was praying for her and her family and hoping for a miracle from God [which sadly never happened, not how i was hoping anyways]
so it was really sad, but there was also a strong sense of love and support of friends and family surrounding her in the months leading up to her death.
last nite i went onto facebook and saw message after message, from a whole variety of unlinked friends of mine across the country, mourning the death of Burry Stander, aged 25, a South African olympian mountain biker who was killed on Thursday while training after being hit by a minibus taxi
i didn’t know Burry, but a lot of my friends clearly did [either personally or just as fans and supporters]
i doubt any of them got to send him an email before he died.
for the most part, we just don’t know when we are going to die. or when those around us are.
FUNERALS
i have a love hate relationship with funerals.
i know they happen because someone died and so they are meant to be times of sadness, but for the most part i have enjoyed the ones i have been to… when they have been celebrations of the person’s life, rather than simply testaments to the fact that someone has died. i especially love the open mic. time when it happens when friends and family are invited to come forward and share a story about the person they love who has passed on.
but i am also always pretty bummed that the one person who really should be hearing the stories is not officially around to hear them. so one of my big dreams in life [and i guess some might think it’s a pretty sick one] is to come back to life once my funeral has started [open casket] and be able to eavesdrop on what people are saying [and let’s be honest to be able to shout “that’s a load of crap” if someone gets up and starts eulogising me who never had much good to say about me when i was alive. [with dreams like that, maybe it’s a good thing i don’t sleep more?]
the point of today’s scribing is this – how much more amazing would it be if we got to tell people just how much we love them and how much they mean to us, while they are still around to appreciate it?
i want to invite you, to challenge you, to do that! just for one person [for now at least and then maybe someone else tomorrow or next week] who you really care for and who maybe you haven’t told recently [or at all] how much you love them.
but i also want you to share with me who you do it to [i want to hear relationship so not the person’s name but simply a label of friend, family member, work colleague, girlfriend… whoever they are to you] and i want you to pass this challenge on to three other people [and i want to know their names] to encourage them to do the same…
so decide on one person in your life who you want to encourage [verbally, by email, by handwritten note, carrier pigeon?] and three people who you want to send this challenge on and in the comments section of this blog write it down like this:
encourage: my cousin
challenge: Ted, Bill, Napoleon
and then go and do it.
Encourage: Jayge Carstens
Challenge: My Mom, Kevin T, Karien, Wendy
encourage: my ouma (gran)
challenge: Ngosa, Stephanie and Franzi
Encourage: my sister in law (who hasn’t spoken to us in 3 years); my hubby
Challenge: my mom, 2 good friends
This is great and since I hate regrets and love people I try to do this often. Since we know so many I do this when some one is brought to my attention and am no longer surprised at how timely these communications are. God knows …….this morning Willie 🙂
Encourage: overseas friend who is lonely and far away from family in tough time.
Challenge: mike, Jacqui, jean.
encourage: All the peeps in my department at school.
challenge: Paul, Lauren & Yolanda
Encourage: a close friend
Challenge: brother and 2 friends
Wow this has been a desire many a time for me as well after attending a funeral. To be able to honour someone now and not only honour them at their funeral someday. This however Brett is very challenging but im up for the challenge. Thank you for sharing this experience.
Encourage: My Pastor: Gareth Stead
Challenge: my sister Natalie, anthea and megan.
Encourage : Banyana
Challenge : nick,inky and Rene
encourage: An employer and friend
challenge: Margaret, Justin, Jeffrey
(Thanks for the challenge brother! Looking forward to making this a part of my life regularly)
I would like to thank you for such a relevent topic ! Really needed this As I lost a friend through a drowning on the 27th in port alfred and put him to rest today ! Thanks for the awesome blogging for the last 5 years since I have been part of thortoftheweek! I hope you continue with your work and Gods work !
God bless
hey Phumulani – thank you so much and SO sorry to hear about your friend – that really sucks – hope you got some time to really celebrate his life though which is the good part of funerals and good to take opportunities with those who are left behind to speak your love to them – all the best, thankx for the encouragement, love b
I plan to encourage a friend who is afraid and two who are sick. (Geoff, Lisa and Karin)
I have challenged my facebook friends and I teach English to adult foreigners so i am taking your post into class tomorrow and I will challenge them to email the people they want to challenge and encourage, but to do it in English! =)
oh wow that is super encouraging – what a great idea – come back and let us know how it goes… all the best!
[…] greater insight as to how serious i view my funny. The second one that comes to mind was titled ‘A Kiss Before Dying’Â and was influenced by the sad and way too soon death of my beautiful cousin Laura who lost the […]