i had a catchup lunch with my good friend Linda Martindale yesterday. i texted her this morning to let her know it had been good for my soul. It was great catching up and it was really cool to show her bits of the book that i'm writing and get some input and be able to send some to her for perusal; it was amazing to meet her niece Rebecca Stead in person [Twitterer and [...]
Rob Lloyd. Tomorrow will be one whole year since you've been gone. And i remember. Theologically i don't know that i believe that you're up there somewhere looking down on me. But in every other way i feel like i often live as if that is true. When i think of you looking down on me... i am a better person i am more hesitant to do dodgy things [because Rob is watching and i [...]
So i'm sitting a this coffee shop called Post in Joburg watching these two okes go at it. In the left corner, EFF member Napoleon Webster, who is notorious for having heckled Jacob Zuma at a meeting, for having heckled Cyril Ramaphosa at a meeting, for having heckled... well, you get the picture. He describes himself at one point in the 24 hours we got to hang together as a "rabble rouser" and i'm pretty [...]
An area i am well rich in is friends. That might seem trite or bumper stickery or Oprah-informed or something, but it's not. It is an absolute truth. If there is an area that i feel most privileged in in life it is in the area of Friendship. i struggle to get my head around it. i read a quote on the internet that said: Good friends talk about their sex lives. Best friends talk [...]
Who do you know? Graeme Codrington shared an article on my Facebook page today with this statement at the top of it: For my South African friends, we're having an interesting time at the moment, as we talk again about race relations. It's hard, and sometimes hurting, but I love that we're having this conversation. It's better than not having it! That really struck me. He went on to list about 20 names of different [...]
Mumford and Fish These are three of my best friends: Dunc, Majay and Rob. And missing from that pic is Reegs who is also one of my longest life buddies. And of course my wife, the beautiful Val [aka tbV, which so many of you keep thinking stands for The Lovely Val because of, um, the B, obviously] who made this photo [taken at my 40th after these clowns performed a satirical rendition [...]
Hm, this is a bit of a difficult one as i think i only know one person who does this. And it's me! But maybe you know someone else. And i think i'm getting better although it does take a lot of work. Did you ever know someone who interrupted you when you were speaking purely because they were so excited about what they had to say [as opposed to intentionally wanting to interrupt or [...]
So far we've looked at the Early Responder and the Planner Aheader as two types of friends that should really look at upping their game, and this third habit is right up there. Did you ever know someone who spoke about themself. Like always. Like non-stop. Incessantly? i knew someone like that and it quickly became quite tiring. You spend an hour with your friend and realise that you've only said five sentences? That the person spoke [...]
LISTEN FIRST A slightly more subtle one, which i have found myself guilty of, is composing an answer or response while the person is speaking [to give once they are finished] instead of giving them your full attention. While this is not [to me] as bad as responding before someone has finished, this also shows a less than complete interest in what the person you are talking to is saying to you. It also suggests [...]
If you have a good friend you're trying to get rid of... oh wait, that only happens in the movies, right? Well how about a friend you want to keep or make? From time to time i hear people complaining that they don't have any close friends as if the Close Friend Fairy has passed them by [Did you put your old friends under your pillow?] As cheesesome as it may seem, i believe it's [...]
