real men

Fathers Matter – an invitation to shift the narrative

Fathers Matter. We know that, right? i mean it's not a statement that needs to be proven or argued for or defended? It's one of those undeniable truths. And yet, the reality in South Africa, is that in too many households, this does not seem like the case, simply because fathers are not there. In so many cases the father is physically absent for a variety of reasons - men not taking responsibility for [...]

How do we get to the men?

How do we get men to engage with posts about and for men? To be honest, i have no helpful idea. The worst part is that i had two ideas that possibly might have worked: [1] Have the cover pic for this blog post be a curvaceous semi-clad woman with the impression that there might be more pics in the post. [2] Use the word 'boobs' somewhere in the title. Objectify women to draw [...]

By |2021-01-23T18:36:22+02:00August 11th, 2020|#NotOnOurWatch, Justice, real men, things to wrestle with|2 Comments

We Are Dying Here: a review and recommendation

these poems do not let themselves be written without lifting lids and disturbing the dead these poems are hauntings they could not live without bringing buried things back ghosts out of silence bearing witness these poems exist between worlds written out of mist and prayers and last breaths these poems have no respect for the living these poems are part of what remains of missing names these poems can never be a full story [...]

By |2019-12-03T13:19:43+02:00December 3rd, 2019|real men, South Africa, what i am watching|6 Comments

40 Tips for Men: Tips #36-40

Moving on to the last 5 tips of our #40TipsForMen series: 40 Tips for Men: Tip #36 Recognise, Acknowledge and Leverage your privilege. Now these will have largely been covered in other tips, but i think this little three prong process can be a harder one. And imagine men might be a little less defensive about getting this one that white people, perhaps because it is spoken about a lot less. The idea of [...]

By |2019-10-29T11:02:50+02:00October 29th, 2019|40 Tips, real men|0 Comments

What Bishops sex scandal incident has to say about us…

Yesterday i wrote some thoughts about the Bishops sex scandal where a female teacher allegedly had sex with an 18 year old learner from Bishops. There were possibly more incidents involving other learners, possibly over a number of years and 'jokes' and apparently a rather disturbing video of the teacher have been doing the rounds at alarming rates. Bishops sex scandal clarifications This morning i added some thoughts: [1] We need to keep talking [...]

By |2019-10-17T11:05:03+02:00October 17th, 2019|#NotOnOurWatch, real men, shtupidt people, South Africa|2 Comments

40 Tips for Men: Tips #31-35

Here we go with the next five tips in our #40TipsForMen series in which we look at some really important things: 40 Tips for Men: Tip #31 Stop mansplaining. For those of you who don't know what that means one definition is: to explain something to a woman in a condescending or patronising way that assumes she has no knowledge about the topic. But it can also occur when a woman has said something [...]

By |2019-10-30T14:06:59+02:00October 9th, 2019|40 Tips, real men|4 Comments

40 Tips for Men: Tip 26-30

The next five tips in our #40TipsForMen seeking to be better men are here for you: 40 Tips for Men: Tip #26 Don't rush to respond with #NotAllMen! i shared the tip series on the Twitterer and had this response: I would appreciate the men in my life to stop saying #notallmen . It takes away from the very serious conversations we need to be having. I feel anything but safe when I hear [...]

By |2019-10-30T13:11:22+02:00September 29th, 2019|40 Tips, real men|0 Comments

40 Tips for Men: Man Tips 21-25

The man tips continue as we work our way slowly towards having a tool belt of resources to help us to become better men: 40 Tips for Men: Tip #21 Include yourself in the wide set that is toxic masculinity. This one links very closely to a similar one when it comes to race so let me use that as an example. It can be very easy for a white person to look at [...]

By |2019-10-30T13:09:26+02:00September 24th, 2019|40 Tips, real men|0 Comments

40 Tips for Men: Part 16-20

What does it mean to be real men? We are continuing on with our journey towards 40 Tips for Men... 40 Tips for Men: Tip #16 Be slow to the mic. Picture this: There is a conference or book launch or some form of meeting happening in South Africa. Afterwards, there is a time of Q & A. Without knowing anything about the meeting, describe as best you can, the first five people who [...]

By |2019-10-30T12:37:03+02:00September 18th, 2019|#NotOnOurWatch, 40 Tips, real men, South Africa|3 Comments

40 Tips for Men: Part 11-15

Continuing with the next 5 in our series of #40TipsForMen: 40 Tips for Men: Tip #11 Be aware of a potential need to step towards. My friend Janet really caught my attention this past week when she used the word 'hyper-vigilant' when she described how women in South Africa always need to be on the alert. One of the ways we men can help make the world a safer place is by increasing our [...]

By |2019-09-18T11:51:33+02:00September 11th, 2019|#NotOnOurWatch, 40 Tips, real men, South Africa|0 Comments
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