Marriage Tip #16 Communication. Work at it. i touched on this yesterday when mentioning Expectation as missed expectations can be a huge source of conflict or resentment in marriage. And someone mentioned Communication which is key to having a healthy marriage. We looked at the five love languages in tip 5 and in some ways, i think communication works in a similar way. We communicate in different ways and we hear things or retain them [...]
A lot of people hate social media - and with good reason. Those bridge lurkers have ruined it for us. But it is important to remember that social media in itself cannot be good or bad. It is simply a tool. People use tools for good or bad. And i have a deep-seated theory that 'People tend towards stupid' which is why some tools have warnings that look something like this: Which [...]
Marriage Tip #6 Be quick to deal with issues. The bible [whether you believe in it or not] has this great piece of wisdom: 'In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.' There are times when anger might be a justified response to something but the key is not letting that anger cause you to hurt your [...]
Married People Tip #1 Find things to do together. Find things to do apart. Either of these extremes can be detrimental to a marriage and the balance will no doubt differ between marriages but typically i imagine there are some things you will find that you love to do together [for us that includes boardgames, weekend walks, certain series, challenging conversations, dressing up crazy to meet people at airports] and other things that you prefer [...]
If i had to ask you to sit for five minutes and write down the 5 top things you Value in life, what would make it on to your list? i haven't given this any thought at all [but hopefully with key values you shouldn't have to] but 5 that would appear on my list would be: # love God and follow Jesus # love my neighbour as myself # generosity # honesty # hospitality [...]
One of the absolute highlights of the recent Justice Conference in South Africa was the worship. Now Val and i learned from our wedding that sometimes amazing musical experiences don't translate on to video. The opening djembe arrival of the bride at our wedding is one of the most powerful musical moments of my life as first one then two, then five, then twenty djembes joined in to create a pulsating rhythm and a [...]
And we are heading down to the final straight as we make our way through the last ten tips for white people genuinely asking, 'But what can I do?' when it comes to race and nation-building in South Africa [and beyond] - glad to see you're still with us... #ButWhatCanIDo? Tip #31 Leave your camera at home. This one goes out to white people on mission trips or white people visiting the townships or white [...]
i have now finally finished reading Russell Brand's latest book, 'Recovery - Freedom from our Addictions' and can highly recommend it. Whether you feel like you are addicted or not. There is a helpful understanding that is gained around addicts who might be people you know, as well as just some generally helpful life wisdom from a very unique perspective. Russell Brand is not everyone's cup of tea, but you are doing yourself a disservice [...]
As we head into the second half of our journey as white people seeking to do and be better, let me encourage you and remind you once again that i have so much love and respect for you. Which is why i have been compiling this list. The past in our country is completely messed up and in need of redress and healing and building and so on... us taking these tips seriously is us [...]
Sunday morning i had the privilege of attending a public conversation between Lukhanyo Calata [author of 'My father died for this'] and Wilhelm Verwoed [author of 'Bloedbande'] as the final session of the Restitution conference that took place this weekend. i dropped some soundbites on Facebook as it was happening and some other things that the reflections prompted in me and figured it might be helpful for people who weren't on their social medias to gather [...]
