Have you heard the one about the Bishops Sex Scandal? i knew something was up when 'jokes' containing the words 'Bishops' and 'Water Polo' arrived in my hockey whatsapp group. But i had not heard of the specific incident and when Val told me the details that night i was shocked. And have just written something in my hockey whatsapp group which is likely to not go down that well, but this is a [...]
Her name is Uyinene Mrwetyana. Or is it was? Already? Has it changed from an 'is' to a 'was' in just the few hours since they found her beaten and broken body? i didn't know her except for the missing posters all over social media and it didn't take long for that deep-knotted feeling in my gut to emerge. It feels like it's too late. We would have heard something by now. But you [...]
Why does it seem to be such a fine line between the extremes of what brings me great joy or incredible anger? The Art of Traffic'ing Take traffic for example. You want to bring me deep joy? Offer me a space in front of you when i am trying to make my way into a busy road. Or even just wave a thank you or flash your lights at me when i have made [...]
Would you drink from a glass if you knew there was a 10% chance you would be drinking poison? The absurdity of a #NotAllMen or #NotAllWhitePeople response to a generalised statement (something usually becomes a generalisation because of how it is generally true) can be compared to me standing you in front of a table containing 100 glasses of liquid and saying, "Don't drink from the glasses because they are filled with poison!" and someone who knows that [...]
When the Laerskool Schweizer-Reneke incident of segregated children in the classroom broke, people quickly seemed to rush to pick sides, with a lot of white people doing soem rather impressive gymnastics to try and defend the white teacher. This is such a helpful comment from my friend Nobuntu Webster which expresses better than i did what i was trying to say earlier: = = = = = = = = = "What you all may not realise [...]
Sho. Racists? i just don't understand you. Except that it HAS to be othering. That's all i can think of. The cure for racism then has to be connection... That was a thought that came to mind as Val and myself sat on the pavement just off De Waal drive last night, about 100m from our house, watching the incredible festivities that were a part of an African wedding reception taking place across the street.How [...]
Why do you think you are defensive? And if a quick ebullient [don't worry, i had to look it up too!] slightly-too-loud I'M NOT DEFENSIVE burst out of you or at the very least charged its way into your mind, then that might be a helpful sign. Blessed are the Defensive... ...for they shall resist change! The online dictionary definition of 'defensive' starts off simply by saying, 'used or intended to defend or protect' which [...]
i absolutely love the people in and around my life. It really does feel like a gift and on top of any male or white or anything else privilege that i recognise and acknowledge, the privilege of quality people is one i am most grateful for. The other night a new friend Mzi was visiting Cape Town from Joburg and we got to have dinner with him and spend an evening just chatting and reflecting [...]
"Sorry guys, did not realise it would be offensive." [Brett gives explanation of why it is offensive] "Brett. let's end the issue right there." = = = = = = = = = = This was the end of an exchange in a WhatsApp group that took place this morning. Yup, while you guys are coffeeing and breakfasting, this is how i choose to start my day. It is a sports team WhatsApp and certain [...]
Last week on the hockey field, a masters player [meaning over 35 years old although this guy was easily 50] called me a Fucking Imbecile after an incident between us. Later, after i had had a drink with my team and was walking to my car he came up to me and said something along the lines of, "I apologise for losing my temper!" i kinda half shrugged it off with a "Sure, buddy, whatever" [...]
