If the only black and brown people you interact with in your life are those who are in positions of service to you, you have work to do. [Not to say that if you have black and brown people in leadership over you or as equals in the spaces you inhabit that you are not racist - just like being married to a black or brown person or having children who are not the [...]
What does it mean to be real men? We are continuing on with our journey towards 40 Tips for Men... 40 Tips for Men: Tip #16 Be slow to the mic. Picture this: There is a conference or book launch or some form of meeting happening in South Africa. Afterwards, there is a time of Q & A. Without knowing anything about the meeting, describe as best you can, the first five people who [...]
A new Prayer of Lament Yesterday i was invited to attend another prayer vigil at the Clareinch Post Office where a man killed Uyinene Mrwetyana. This time it was in my role as a volunteer with the Peace Justice Witnesses which i haven't done since #FeesMustFall days probably about two years ago. It turns out we weren't really needed because nothing out of the ordinary happened, but i felt privileged to be able to [...]
Continuing with the next 5 in our series of #40TipsForMen: 40 Tips for Men: Tip #11 Be aware of a potential need to step towards. My friend Janet really caught my attention this past week when she used the word 'hyper-vigilant' when she described how women in South Africa always need to be on the alert. One of the ways we men can help make the world a safer place is by increasing our [...]
Jess Hill's Mission to understand Abusive Men What's Rape Anxiety? This woman explained it to her favourite men and they were shocked. Relax Ladies. Don't be so Uptight. You know you want it. How to be a Woman in the 21st Century Twitter trending Hashtag 'Men are Trash' proof that men centre themselves on feminist issues. Eusebius McKaiser wrote a piece titled 'The Chain between Words and Violence' 'Why we're not working today' by [...]
40 Tips for Men: Tip #6 Hold your voice. This is connected to Tip 3 which involved listening but is bigger than that as well. We live in a world that for the most part has been dominated by the voices and actions of men [see history!] We need to be doing what we can to help redress that, keeping in mind the saying that, 'When privilege is all you've known then equality may [...]
40 Tips for Men: Tip #1 Respect a woman's 'No!' This should be an easy one. It should be an unnecessary one. It should not have to be said, right? Except that, having been married for ten years, just the stories i have heard from my wife, in two different countries [USA and SA] in bars and in the street and in living rooms and in restaurants and in churches and in spaces of [...]
Why do we need 40 Tips for Men? Today has been such a heavy day in South Africa as we heard the news so many of us were dreading about the fate of Uyinene Mrwetyana. The How of it made it seem so very much worse. Which is why i thought it was essential to start up this series of tips aimed at helping men to be better than we currently are. Hopefully so [...]
Her name is Uyinene Mrwetyana. Or is it was? Already? Has it changed from an 'is' to a 'was' in just the few hours since they found her beaten and broken body? i didn't know her except for the missing posters all over social media and it didn't take long for that deep-knotted feeling in my gut to emerge. It feels like it's too late. We would have heard something by now. But you [...]
Are we responsible for the sins and legacy of the past? This seems to be a stumbling point for younger people today, who didn't live through apartheid and so "Why should we be held responsible for it?" i saw this illustration on Facebook today and think it helps address legacy so very well: How do we make sense of the past as it relates to our present A lot of the race conversations [...]
