Are you a good listener or a committed speaker? Take a few moments to think back to the last three proper meaty conversations you had with friends or family. If someone had been holding down a timer every time you spoke and releasing it every time you listened, which would be the bigger number? Take a moment to imagine if the people you have last spoken to were asked that same question. How might [...]
What does it mean when i suggest we need to Listen to Understand? Many of us are slow to listen but very quick to speak. This feels like a particular obstacle for white people who are used to having the mic and having our voices heard. Additionally, this feels like a problem for men who are used to having a dominant respected voice. So when you're a white man, like i am, you know [...]
May this be a week where we seek to listen more, be slower in reply and hungry for increased knowledge over being right. LISTEN MORE BE SLOW TO REPLY INCREASED KNOWLEDGE OVER BEING RIGHT Let's see what this week might look like as we put those three into practice... Have a great one love brett fish
Communication is one of those things that can be tough even when everyone is doing it well. But let's face it, some people do not do it so well. And tend not to notice it. i thought today maybe we can help them notice it. Warning though - there may be a moment when the person noticing it needs to be you... or me. There will be an invitation at the end to add your [...]
i attended a race panel last night called Real Talk where we got to hear stories from a black, coloured and white person [tbV]. It was a really great time and hopefully more churches and organisations will start hosting these moments of just getting to hear each other and catch glimpses into journeys that have been quite different from ours. One of the stories that Mbulelo shared was about the time he was on a plane [...]
i just had a brief conversation with a Facebook friend that began with him writing the words, "Knowing what white privilege is..." and then asking a question. Having learnt from some people who are really good at Questions over the last few years, i responded with one of my own: Well i would need to know what you understand when you say that you get what it means to have white privilege - how would [...]
i have been enjoying these conversations with Trevor Black from Swart Donkey. Back and forth five times on a topic with about 100 words a time. This is our third collaborative blog conversation, this time with a focus on Listening to the Listeners. i hope you will enjoy it. = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = Trev: I loved the Free Speech board at my university residence. [...]
The other day i was on the bus coming back from camp chatting to someone and they spoke a line that sends electricity through my body [and not in a good way]. i think we were talking about my blog and the other person said something about, 'Giving them a voice.' i can never ever give anyone else a voice. i can recognise and acknowledge and make space for and step out of the way [...]
i just read a really helpful piece by Brene Brown titled, 'Own our History. Change the story' which is focused on Americaland which has what feels like a completely different story, when it comes to present race issues, in many ways, but also some remarkably similar overlaps. Owning our stories is standing in our truth. It’s transformative in our personal and professional lives AND it’s also critical in our community lives. But we don’t think about history [...]
Sometimes two sides of a vociferous argument can both be right. A silly [but true] example could be someone from Americaland arguing that mayonnaise is horrible [i have lived here for three years and am still to find one i find overly edible] Whereas, having tasted South African mayo, and especially the no name brand big jar version, i might argue that mayonnaise is incredible. We would both be telling the truth in terms of [...]
