The man tips continue as we work our way slowly towards having a tool belt of resources to help us to become better men: 40 Tips for Men: Tip #21 Include yourself in the wide set that is toxic masculinity. This one links very closely to a similar one when it comes to race so let me use that as an example. It can be very easy for a white person to look at [...]
What does it mean to be real men? We are continuing on with our journey towards 40 Tips for Men... 40 Tips for Men: Tip #16 Be slow to the mic. Picture this: There is a conference or book launch or some form of meeting happening in South Africa. Afterwards, there is a time of Q & A. Without knowing anything about the meeting, describe as best you can, the first five people who [...]
A new Prayer of Lament Yesterday i was invited to attend another prayer vigil at the Clareinch Post Office where a man killed Uyinene Mrwetyana. This time it was in my role as a volunteer with the Peace Justice Witnesses which i haven't done since #FeesMustFall days probably about two years ago. It turns out we weren't really needed because nothing out of the ordinary happened, but i felt privileged to be able to [...]
Jess Hill's Mission to understand Abusive Men What's Rape Anxiety? This woman explained it to her favourite men and they were shocked. Relax Ladies. Don't be so Uptight. You know you want it. How to be a Woman in the 21st Century Twitter trending Hashtag 'Men are Trash' proof that men centre themselves on feminist issues. Eusebius McKaiser wrote a piece titled 'The Chain between Words and Violence' 'Why we're not working today' by [...]
40 Tips for Men: Tip #1 Respect a woman's 'No!' This should be an easy one. It should be an unnecessary one. It should not have to be said, right? Except that, having been married for ten years, just the stories i have heard from my wife, in two different countries [USA and SA] in bars and in the street and in living rooms and in restaurants and in churches and in spaces of [...]
Why do we need 40 Tips for Men? Today has been such a heavy day in South Africa as we heard the news so many of us were dreading about the fate of Uyinene Mrwetyana. The How of it made it seem so very much worse. Which is why i thought it was essential to start up this series of tips aimed at helping men to be better than we currently are. Hopefully so [...]
Her name is Uyinene Mrwetyana. Or is it was? Already? Has it changed from an 'is' to a 'was' in just the few hours since they found her beaten and broken body? i didn't know her except for the missing posters all over social media and it didn't take long for that deep-knotted feeling in my gut to emerge. It feels like it's too late. We would have heard something by now. But you [...]
Sho. So this birthday snuck up on me. Christmas vibes into New Year's vibes into Cricket Test into friends-visiting-from-USA-and-Kruger-roadtripping vibes into arriving back in Cape Town last night with enough time to go to bed and wake up to my 45th birthday. 'Age is just a number' i like to say, but my number is certainly getting bigger. In the good old days [not too long ago] i used to stretch my birthday for a [...]
My friend Shelley Frost wrote this as her status on Facebook today and i couldn't not sure because it is such a gracefully written invitation to men to seize the opportunity to be a part of the much needed transformation that is needed in the world and so i repost it here as an endorsement. If as a male, and particularly a white male, you feel defensive when you read this, before you jump on [...]
Jessica Jones is returning to Netflix and i couldn't be more stoked. One of the latest in a series of Marvel comic crossovers, Jessica Jones was most recently seen alongside Luke Cage, Daredevil and Iron Fist as part of the Defenders team trying desperately to save New York. It is a very dark series and one of the main reasons i stayed with it was probably because David Tennant [my all-time favourite portrayer of [...]
