What does it mean to be real men? We are continuing on with our journey towards 40 Tips for Men... 40 Tips for Men: Tip #16 Be slow to the mic. Picture this: There is a conference or book launch or some form of meeting happening in South Africa. Afterwards, there is a time of Q & A. Without knowing anything about the meeting, describe as best you can, the first five people who [...]
When last did you tip the petrol attendant well? i was hanging out with my mate Wayne yesterday [lots of great stories begin with that very line!] and we got to talking. He told me about something a mutual friend of ours [the incredible Linda Martindale] had told him a while back... "Always fill your car at the same petrol station. Preferably with the same person. And tip them well." The most valuable tip [...]
A new Prayer of Lament Yesterday i was invited to attend another prayer vigil at the Clareinch Post Office where a man killed Uyinene Mrwetyana. This time it was in my role as a volunteer with the Peace Justice Witnesses which i haven't done since #FeesMustFall days probably about two years ago. It turns out we weren't really needed because nothing out of the ordinary happened, but i felt privileged to be able to [...]
Continuing with the next 5 in our series of #40TipsForMen: 40 Tips for Men: Tip #11 Be aware of a potential need to step towards. My friend Janet really caught my attention this past week when she used the word 'hyper-vigilant' when she described how women in South Africa always need to be on the alert. One of the ways we men can help make the world a safer place is by increasing our [...]
Jess Hill's Mission to understand Abusive Men What's Rape Anxiety? This woman explained it to her favourite men and they were shocked. Relax Ladies. Don't be so Uptight. You know you want it. How to be a Woman in the 21st Century Twitter trending Hashtag 'Men are Trash' proof that men centre themselves on feminist issues. Eusebius McKaiser wrote a piece titled 'The Chain between Words and Violence' 'Why we're not working today' by [...]
Her name is Uyinene Mrwetyana. Or is it was? Already? Has it changed from an 'is' to a 'was' in just the few hours since they found her beaten and broken body? i didn't know her except for the missing posters all over social media and it didn't take long for that deep-knotted feeling in my gut to emerge. It feels like it's too late. We would have heard something by now. But you [...]
i saw this picture and statement on Facebook today: Count me out. I need a break from South African politics and leadership dynamics. The poverty I have seen today visiting a rural area has me in a minor depression, I cant imagine WHEN the leaders will stop shielding and blaming each other and start serving this country. I DON'T want to be right, I don't want the other side to be wrong. I just [...]
Are we responsible for the sins and legacy of the past? This seems to be a stumbling point for younger people today, who didn't live through apartheid and so "Why should we be held responsible for it?" i saw this illustration on Facebook today and think it helps address legacy so very well: How do we make sense of the past as it relates to our present A lot of the race conversations [...]
The internet can be a confusing and scary place to try and figure out race vibes [or parenting/immigration/religion/sexuality and so on...] - if you're brave then check out 'Ozzy Man reviews Arguing on the Internet' because it is harsh but funny and sadly not too far from the truth. Trying to figure out race vibes offline can also be counterproductive if the people around you are more echo chamber than collaborative sounding board, which [...]
As the army was deployed into certain areas of the Cape Flats and beyond many of us watched with dismay... This is the narrative the rest of the country is given of an area facing tremendous odds. Communities still trying to crawl themselves out of the mess that apartheid and forced removals and lack of local government focus left them in. What good ever comes out of the Cape Flats? is a question that [...]
